In this edition:
Culture and tourism festival kicks off in Aksu of Xinjiang
Environmental-friendly military parade
How China improves people's lives
The Emperor's Moments
ConfuXius says
And now: Let's all sing praise to China! Hail Emperor Xi!
Culture and tourism festival kicks off in Aksu of Xinjiang
Our beloved Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, has decided that our wonderful China should show off to the world how greatly civilised her culture is and how humanely minorities are treated. To do so, benevolent Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, ordered CCP officials in Xinjiang to organise a festival that will show to the world the happiness and content of Chinese Uyghurs.
The festival kicked off with a traditional Chinese police dance, supported by one lucky Uyghur:
The local population of Uyghurs was so impressed that they excitedly lined up in their traditional dress to visit the festival:
The festival took place in Happiness Park which was built where before was a dreary old graveyard. That cemetery included the dry, old bones of a boring dead poet called Lutpulla Mutellip. Instead of some sad place of mourning, people can now dance happily on the shoulders of their ancestors. That's how people learn the superiority of Chinese culture.
After their totally voluntary visits to the festival, the local population returned smiling & laughing to their traditional camp sites:
Happiness with Chinese characteristics. Hail Emperor Xi!
Environmental-friendly military parade
Western propaganda reared up its ugly head again after China's wonderful birthday celebration parade. Evil CIA agents spread rumours that the parade was a waste of resources and contributed to environmental pollution. We will completely disprove such nasty allegations.
Let's begin with our beloved Emperor Xi, praise be upon him. To save fuel, he activated his superpowers and floated along the troops to his position on the podium. Here you can see Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, floating and at the same time carrying a big, black limousine with him, just to show his enormous powers:
Note that you don't see any wheels, which proves that he is floating. What's more, Emperor Xi himself, praise be upon him, is made up almost entirely of bio-degradable material. So much so, that after his untimely death, we will have to use tons of chemicals to preserve his perfect body.
The guns used during the ceremony were also completely environmental-friendly. They had undergone 15 innovations prior to this. No projectiles were used, for example. Therefore we couldn't celebrate any new revolutionary martyrs during this parade. And, of course, no explosives were used. The bangs you heard and the smoke you saw were just figments of your imagination. No pollution whatsoever!
The aircraft which flew over the parade were pollution-free. They stayed in the air by the sheer will-power of their pilots, trained in the secret Chinese art of the "Flying Qi". The smoke that seems to be coming out of the airplanes is nothing more than the so-called "Fart of the Qi" (sometimes also called "Fart of the Xi", to honour our benevolent Emperor, praise be upon him), which the pilots bodies have to eject when the power of the Qi gets too strong.
Thousands of balloons which were released during the parade cannot harm the environment. They will simply disappear into thin air. Our great Chinese scientists have made sure of that.
As you can see, this was a military parade as never seen before. You can trust our advanced Chinese weapon technology and our superior Chinese science under the guidance of omniscient Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, to save the environment of the world.
Our beloved Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, wrote a letter again! In it, he pointed out that China will lead the world in sustainable development. As can be seen by the example of China's birthday parade, described above, China has adopted the vision of innovative, coordinated, green and open development.
Emperor Xi, praise be upon him, was also seen pointing this out to diverse world leaders:
After so much pointing, our omnipotent great leader was naturally exhausted and retreated to his lakeside house where he meditated about the state of the world.
We are so lucky to have such a wonderful pointer as an Emperor.
Let's all sing praise to China! Hail Emperor Xi!
That's it for today.
More to come, as time allows and news provides.
Don't forget to praise Emperor Xi and pray to the CCP!