For a number of years I have had astrology readings from astrologers all over the world because, first of all I am fascinated with systems and I consider myself somewhat of a systems analyst. I like to see how systems work. The second reason I have had readings from different people is that because each one of them are going to hone in on specific things in my chart. Or at the very least they are going to see my chart from a different perspective.
Pretty much all of them have focused on the stellium of my sun, moon and chiron in Pisces in the third house opposing Pluto, Uranus and the asteroid Ceres in Virgo in the ninth house. To those of you who don't understand astrology you are probably wondering what the heck that all means, just as I did for several years.
Pretty much all of the astrologists who have looked at my chart were able to see that some authority figure abused me and that it would set the course of my life. One astrologer even was able to identify the age at which it happened.
I alluded to this in my last Steemit post. Up until the age of 10 I was a devout Christian. I would find someone to get me to church because my parents didn't go but I loved church. Then at the age of 10 during our confirmation classes the preacher would somehow get me alone and molest me. Come to find out, he molested 30 other girls as well.
This was a pivotal point in my life. Because I was a child and didn't really understand, I blamed God and walked away from Christianity and stopped praying. I also suppressed the memory.
One astrologer nailed it when he explained that "something happened to you at 10 that caused you to stop communicating and being a "channel" for spirit." In astrology there is a belief that everything happens for a reason and that if we can heal our Chironic wound we can then go on to help others heal. In mythology Chiron was a centaur. In fact, he was the only Centaur(half horse-half man) who wasn't running around the country partying and having sex. He was the teacher and mentor of healers and heroes. Then he was wounded and unable to heal himself.
I have understood my chironic wound for several years and understand it is somewhat of a generational thing but it plays out for differently for different people depending on the other aspects in their chart. For my generation though it is critical that we realize the damage that has been done through Christianity of demonizing the Darkness and through the New Age movement of believing that darkness doesn't exist.
In Christianity, Darkness is associated with the Devil or Satan. In Chinese medicine the Darkness or the Yin energy is associated with the feminine, the earthly, the magnetic, the intuitive. It is the energy that rises from the earth and goes to our heart. So as I see it Christianity and its brother, Islam have demonized the worldly aspects of what it means to be human as well as denigrating and oppressing women, children and the Earth.
The other imbalance that Christianity has created over the last 2,000 years is to elevate to Godhood all that is light or Yang. In Chinese medicine Yang energy is associated with the fire, electricity, expansion, the intellectual and the masculine energies. The Yang energy comes from heaven through the top of our head and if our meridian system is functioning correctly it grounds down through our feet and into the earth. (this is an overly simplified explanation of a very intricate system). The New Age movement has elevated all that is Light as well. The whole focus in that movement is that ascension or getting off of earth as the goal. It also demonizes feelings and what I perceive to be very human traits.
With Christianity and our modern world, the majority of humans have excess yang energy with the energy getting stuck in the head. The chironic wound for the generation of people born in the sixties is to heal this dualism within ourselves. To heal this separation between our head and our heart, between heaven and earth and learn how to walk again on this planet with our hearts and minds working together without demonizing either the light or the dark but having those energies balanced within us.
One astrologer told me that in my chart, if I can heal my chironic wound, is the ability to help others heal the polarity and duality between light and dark. She said that I have the ability to bring light to the darkness and darkness to the light. She had no idea that I practice reflexology and acupressure or that I have been a student of the 5 element system of Chinese medicine for years. I literally feel that I am an electrician and my job is to make sure that your system is running the electricity and magnetism or yin and yang energies in a balanced way. Another friend of mine made an important point as it relates to this polarity of light and dark that it is possible to "bend" or misuse the light as well as the darkness.
On an emotional level I also feel that I bring light to the darkness and darkness to the light. I have made so many mistakes in my life that I have a lot of compassion for peoples faults and shadows. In bringing light to the darkness I help people see that their shadows or coping mechanisms were the only way they could survive at the time of their trauma or drama. I also bring darkness to the light by helping people see their shadows. Sometimes the ego is so strong and manipulative that it takes an objective witness to see how the ego/shadow is working.
In both the New Age movement and in Christianity there is an unwillingness to own the Shadow and a lot of projection onto the Other. If we can't or wont look at our shadows, the shadow controls us and there is a tendency to project our darkness onto others. The Christians see the darkness in the Muslims and visa versa. The Whites see the darkness in the other races and the New Agers pretend there isn't any darkness at all. Jesus went to the desert to face his shadows. It took him forty days to overcome his struggle with his shadow/ego.
Of course I have done my share of projection and have to be very honest with myself to see when I am projecting. In my understanding that is a more shamanic path. Instead of being an exorcist, and driving or expelling the demons of others, I am here to see my own shadows and through making peace with my shadows, support others in making peace within themselves and bringing peace to earth one heart at a time.
This brings me to the rainbows. As I understand it the biggest shadows are created by our inability or unwillingness to feel our emotions. In Chinese medicine each of the five elements are associated with a feeling and a color. For example the Water Element is associated with Fear and Anxiety and the colors blue and black.
As I perceive it we are always being given the opportunity to feel emotions or feelings that we have long suppressed because of a culture that demonizes feelings. One energy worker said that we learn to process feelings or emotions between the ages of 6 months-2 1/2 years. When we grow up in a healthy home, these little packages of energy/feelings rise up to our heart, we feel it and open it up and the energy circulates through our field giving us a Rainbow Body of Light. When a parent says, "Big Boys don't cry" or "Do you want me to give you something to really cry about?" those little packages of feelings/energy get stuck in our body or what some call the emotional body. The universe is always giving us an opportunity to heal and brings situations into our life that trigger that old pain. Often however we don't realize it is old pain and thus we react and make up drama about what is happening in the present moment all in an attempt to not feel the old pain, unlock the package and brighten our field.
I truly believe that everything that is happening on the planet right now, from the political situation, the environmental situation and even the solar flares are giving us an opportunity to feel what we have repressed and remember who we are and become these amazing Rainbow Warriors.
If you look at iconography of Jesus or Buddha you see them emitting or surrounded by a Rainbow Colored field. This field in my opinion is created by their fluidity in feeling their feelings rather than reacting or projecting their feelings onto others. Each of us have the opportunity wherever we have our Chironic wounding in our chart to begin healing our wounds, feel our feelings, speak our truth with out demonizing others and of course unite our hears and our minds and bring heaven to earth. Sometimes it will take a little "anger" to stand up and, like Jesus did, overturn the tables of the Money Changers in the temple.
For me I have had to realize that there has been a hole in my life because I turned my back on God. Through my journey I have connected to the Goddess and the spirits of the earth which I love. I always have tried to be the kind of human Jesus was, but not having God, the Father left a huge gaping wound. Just recently l learned that my relationship to the Sky Father, to God is a big part of who I am and little by little I am reopening myself to that connection and what it means to communicate with that energy and let that energy speak through me.
I still have no interest in being in a church. Maybe I still have more to heal and I am open to that. For now I can connect to both the Mother and the Father in nature. I allow the grief to come up over the loss of that relationship for so long and remind myself it was never lost, just hidden and the time of hiding that connection to the Father is done. I know as a Rainbow Warrior I am hear to speak about a new way of connecting to God the Father outside of the dualistic ways that most Americans speak about that energy. Rise up ye Rainbow Warriors and join me in healing the Heart.
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