20 percent of teenagers have suffered from depression. One out of every twelve teenagers will struggle with self harm before they reach adulthood. 18 percent report thinking seriously about suicide at during high school. What’s more, these statistics are on the rise each year. Some attribute this epidemic to the prevalence of social media, others point to the absence of parents (particularly fathers). Whatever the case, youth need our attention more than ever. They’re looking for community, acceptance, attention, affirmation, and love, all of which should be distinguishing features of the church.
Youth leaders have the very best of intentions, but too often their programming is all wrong. The vast majority of youth groups appear to be more interested with questions such as “how many fun things can we do with Jell-O?” than “How can I bring healing to your deepest wounds?” Many youth leaders act as if there aren’t deep issues to address. They tell themselves that fun and fellowship are the keys to a healthy youth group, all the time suppressing the growing sense that this is all just like slapping a band-aid on a deep wound. Jeremiah 6:13-14 serves as a searing indictment of this sort of youth ministry: “prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.”
Youth are starving for attention—to have someone who is willing to listen to their problems without judging them or betraying their trust. The core tools of youth ministry must be respect and trust. Respect that provides affirmation and acknowledgement. Trust that allows them to open up without fear. Trust and respect must always flow both ways, with leaders sharing honestly about their own lives.
Many youth leaders are terrified of having these conversations with teens. They have no idea what to say or how to act. This answer might seem like a cop out, but I believe it to be the only one. If you invest yourself fully in the opportunities that God has put in front of you, he will provide the words to say. I struggle to think of any influential Biblical figure who possessed any ability or adequacy on their own.
We need to understand what our mission is—why we exist and what we hope to do. There is no better description of the youth ministry calling than Isaiah 61:1 “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners.” The passage goes on to describe relief for those in grief, despair, mourning, shame, and disgrace. These words may have been written over 2,500 years ago, but they perfectly describe the state of so many teenagers today, and they lay out a mission for us as Christians.
Wait a minute, some will say. You’re taking these verses out of context, they’re meant to refer to the work of Christ. However, according to 2 Corinthians 5:20, “We are ambassadors for Christ, as though Christ were making his appeal through us.” Christ’s mission is now entrusted to us.
My call is to youth leaders, parents, teachers, pastors, mentors, and all Christians. Stop pretending everything is okay. Stop treating deep wounds with band aids. We carry with us the answer to the questions that the world is asking. Let’s begin the crucial conversation and point our teenagers towards the one who is the only solution to their pain.