The master said "color hard", which means that it is difficult to do so for the family and the pleasant colors.
That's the truth.
Family is our closest person, but we are the hardest to be nice to them.
Said "disciple gauge" purge "" brother, friend, brother, brother love younger brother, younger brother respect elder brother, this is the ancient modern - which are difficult to do a brothers and sisters, there is no fight in tore through the hair when you were a kid?
Grow up again often because of some housework, benefit, face friction?
Yang LAN once asked zhou guoping, "why do we all leave our good temper to outsiders, but leave our bad temper to the people we love most?"
Even the always polite philosopher said, "this is a mistake, and I often do it."
In life, we get along with different people and we show different attitudes.
The colleague can open a few lines of familiar joke, but always do not lose the cent;
The average friend asked for warmth, closeness but not intimacy;
Best friends have no taboos;
The nature of a lover and his parents is completely exposed.
A lot of times we will let our own dissatisfaction, the pressure all express to our relatives, how many will hurt the heart of our loved ones, then we will also regret.
However, in the mood, it is always controlled, so it can cause a lot of emotional trauma to oneself and loved ones.
Why do we tend to get angry with people who are closer to each other?
Because we have a very stable sense of belonging and security for our relatives and friends.
Our subconscious tells us that this person, the environment is safe, and even if they lose their temper, they will not leave you or even be protected.
Few people can make a scene in front of strangers because they are unfamiliar with each other and feel insecure.
In other words, it is an uneasiness about strangers or the environment.
So we usually pretend to be polite outside, or it's easy to get away with it.
When we get home, our family is a cathartic channel. We don't have to take responsibility for it. There are few side effects.
A lot of times, we are outside to suffer grievance or bear some pressure, there is no way to vent out, have to give vent to the family or bosom friend, the elder brothers.
At this time, we treat our relatives and friends with a sense of freedom, like the feeling of the child facing the mother.
But intimacy does not mean it can be endlessly unreasonable, after all, no one is born to take out the emotions of others.
Intimate relationships can accommodate each other's bumps and bumps, and more need love and care.
Famous writer shi tiesheng's legs were paralyzed, his temper became temperamental, and he often lost his temper to his mother.
But even if his mother was suffering from liver disease, vomiting blood, she still had her own son.
Later, when her mother died, shi was suddenly disillusioned. "this stubbornness left me regretful and unproud.
I wish I had told all my children not to come with my mother, I have understood, but I am too late.
And we, in time.
Zhou guoping said, "it is instinctive to be picky to close people, but to overcome the instinct, it is the breeding of people who are close to them."
Deep down to the bottom of the child's upbringing, is to treat his own people well.
Because they are good to themselves, also deep into their bones.
In the book of rites and doctrine, he said, "the gentleman should be cautious."
For those who are close to us are one with us, and do not lose their temper, that is, to be prudent and to be justified.
There is a saying: you can only hurt the person you love and the person who loves you forever.
It's a somewhat sad truth.
If we are reduced to the need to embarrass our families, then we are a capitalized underdog.
On the other hand, we should also understand that you are the only person who knows how to love.
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