What do we as humans use to identify other people? Forensically we use fingerprints, hair, blood, saliva, an iris, facial structure, height, gender, and so many other factors. We see each individual person based on physical features or what they are worth to us. Unfortunately, this includes how we view ourselves as well.
From a human perspective, we all have our own set of preconceived notions of what makes us like a person. A certain set of guidelines that we follow on deciding whether we like a person. Does this person smell good? Does their clothing style match mine? Are they polite? Do we share the same political beliefs? Any of these could be a factor in a person’s decision to befriend another human being.
What makes us like ourselves, though? With every other person, a human will subconsciously look at the pros and cons of that individual, and rank the good and bad according to importance, then decide whether they like that person from there. But when a person has a moment of self-reflection, they look at their own flaws without giving much notice to their strengths. Over time, this creates an attitude of self-loathing and hatred, from which comes the adage, "You are your own worst critic."
How do we stop these self-destructive tendencies? Most don't even give it enough thought to realize it is self-destructive. Others realize it but don't have enough motivation to fix it. But what so many don't realize is the answer lies in where we place our identity. Our culture is so focused on a self-centered attitude that when we do mess up, it shatters our motivation and willpower to continue pressing on. The mentality of being good enough is ingrained into our minds. Michele Cushatt described the issue so well in a podcast with Ken Davis when she said,
"The most important thing for any structure is the foundation. And the secret to a good foundation is it has to be wider and deeper than the structure it supports. And in our current culture, we want to build our identity on ourselves. That is not a wider and deeper foundation. That is like a boat anchored to itself. It's not anchored!"
This applies for those religious and nonreligious alike. When we try to put our identity in ourselves it becomes meaningless. There is no power behind that. Whenever we put our identity in something bigger, deeper, and stronger than us, then we have an anchor, something to lean on, and most importantly, something sturdy to put our self-worth in. As Christians the best answer is God.
When we start to put our identity in God, our concept of identity changes. No longer is identity in ourselves, something finite, but it becomes a source, like from a well where we start giving to others because that identity also becomes our purpose. No longer does our identity become something we need to feed, like an ego, but something that we need to constantly give to others in service.
"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
Colossians 3:1-3 (NKJV)
Davis, Ken, and Michele Cushatt. “The Value of Securing Your Personal Identity Before Taking the Stage.” Dynamic Communicators, 11 July 2017, dynamiccommunicators.com.