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.It's my family's tradition to bond every Sunday after church. Last week, my doctor said I should sleep better when she said that my case is worse. She said I shouldn't be worried since she has not seen the final test in Cagayan de oro. She said that if nothing wrong with my nerve, I'll proceed to rheumatologist.
After I heard those threatening words from her, I walked at the hallway cried. Then my mother liked to go home immediately, but I never wanted to hear her saying she's hungry when we get home. So, I brought her at the nearest restaurant and I tried to turn back my appetite. I was very depressed. I never had a good sleep to think the doctor's opinion. My family keeps praying for me and my friends. I loved it when my sister's friend went home, telling me that I will be healed. My online friends 
At home, my sister always remind me I will be sick more if I chew my problem over and over again. She said I shouldn't be scared because we never heard the second opinion of the surgical neorologist. I bet that all of us feel the same way like we are threatened if we can experience such enigma. But my sister always say that my faith to God is not enough.
When we came to the church, I was surprised that everybody prayed for me. The pastor sermoned about surrending our all to our Jehova 100%. He said that there are many hindrances why we fail God to surrender our 100%. First, we value our worldy expectations. Like the story in the bible, when Jesus told the man to be with Him, the man refused to do because he wanted to arrange the grave of his father. He said he will follow, but demanded God to grant His wish to come back to the grave. But Jesus said to him to leave all the things in the world, never turn the head back and follow His lead.
The reality, we really turn our head back to these worldly things and doings that is why surrendering our 100% to our God is very hard to do. In times that we feel so downcast, we commit suicide and depression because we always crave our worldy desires. If we turn our head everywhere, we cannot stand up alone by fighting these burdens. We always seek our friends, family, and special someone to give our spirit an enlightenment.
In this case of mine, many people ask if I am okay. My answer is yes because I am happy with my life to be with God. No can can treat an ailment than God. As long as we have a strong conviction to the Lord, the pain is gone, worries, anxiousness, tears, and doubts. We shouldn't doubt and worry what we meet in the future because in God we trust. Whatever the outcome will be, just be happy because He knows what He does.
Again, in order to be happy, do not crave for worldly desires. Whatever the outcome of your decision, prepare acceptance and just smile. If time will come that you feel so down, just talk to our Christ by shouting, "oh Lord Jesus many times." In this way, the demon can't control you. The demon would always laugh invisibly to see you defeated.
Trust because He knows what is best for you, smile because Christ is enough, surrender everything to Him to be happy all the time, be strong because you never alone. God lives in our soul and spirit so don't fear. As long as we know who He is, as long as we welcome Jehova our God to our lives, we can always see and experience our oneness to Him.
This disease, it's just a disease given by the demon to our body to tempt and perish our faith. Do you allow satan to laugh because you cry by sadness and unacceptance? Don't spoil the satan to test your faith but trust and surrender everything to our powerful healer, Jehova our God.
I was wrong that I cried after what the doctor said to me. As a Christian, we may not fear death. We may not fear to be with our God. We may not fear to obey His plans. Do not look back, but follow our Christ for His kingdom is forever and He shall reign eternally. Surrender your 100%, keep the faith, and be an overcomer!
Camera used: iphone7+
Taken: 2017
Location: Butuan city
Photographer: Clare Blackburn