I made a huge step today and committed to something I have been thinking about for a while now.
Today, for me was one of the most stressful days I have had in recent memory.
I finally spoke to the chairman of the board at the ministry where I work, and told him that after this semester at school, I will be resigning my position as Resident Manager.
On top of that, one of the residents that I was sponsoring decided to go out and drink, and I was the one that had to call him on it.
Been thinking for a while
For quite some time now I have been thinking about putting in my resignation as Resident Manager. I have been under an extreme amount of stress that just does not seem to let up. My bosses have put more and more responsibility on me slowly over time without any real let up. I also go to school full time and I am in my sophomore year, so the classes are not getting easier.
I don't have any family, or really friends anymore now that I am sober. What this means is that I really have nowhere to go to get away from my job. I live eat and breathe my job, and I have not been happy for a while now. Instead of waking up and thanking God for a new day, I wake up and instead wonder what the first problem of the day will be. This is not how I want to live my life.
The other day, a lady from my Church sent me a real estate listing for a house on her street, totally unsolicited. I Had not said anything to her about thinking about moving out, so for me it was God telling me that moving was the next right thing for me. The only problem is, I owe this program a great deal. I mean, I was living out of a backpack 2 years ago, today my life is completely different.
So today after the normal Monday morning staff meeting, I asked the chairman of the board, who happens to also be the pastor at my Church if I could speak to him in his role as a pastor. I then explained to him what I have been thinking, and that I had decided that May 15th would be my last day. I also explained that this was not something I was willing to negotiate on. I am not after money.
Pastor Dave then told me that this was not wholly unexpected and he wanted to see me on the board of directors helping to run the Ministry into the future. He explained that I should keep things close to my vest until the beginning of April, and then make the announcement to the rest of the staff. He then went on to tell me that he knew of a good Christian brother that rented rooms and he would talk to him for me.
I just need my sanity. I cannot live in a perpetual state of irritation.
My Sponsee makes a choice.
I was at school today when I got a call from one of the residents that I was sponsoring called me. He sounded really out of it and seemed to be slurring his words. I was pretty sure he had been drinking, so I called my boss and told him about it.
I know you might be thinking this was wrong, but you have to understand, I have 15 other residents to think about too. If I let one guy slide, how long before some guy overdoses in the bathroom?
Sure enough, I got a text and he had been drinking. He was asked to leave.
Let me be clear
I owe so much to this Ministry, I could never repay them for what they have helped me to accomplish. I went from begging change for Heroin, to owning a car I can't even drive! I have pictures of me shaking the Mayor's hand, and I am on the president's list at school. I will always be a part of this Ministry, but I need some space to myself for a while.
I don't know what I really expect from this post. Maybe I just wanted to tell you guys what kind of day I had, maybe I needed some catharsis from writing about my day, I don't know.
I do know that I am an addict that has been redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and I will not be going back to my vomit.
Please Read.
If you have enjoyed this post and would like to read more about a hard-core drug addict that has been redeemed by Jesus, please follow and support me. Also, we have succeeded in creating a chat room on Discord for Recovery and Addiction issues! Please go --HERE-- to join and be a part of our online support network.
My Bosses have given me permission to mention the name of our Ministry in my blogs. I work at Endeavor House Ministries Inc. in Lansing, Michigan. If you look us up you can see us on Facebook, and at https://endeavorhouseministries.com You can donate to the Ministry through PayPal if you want to.
Thank you and God Bless!
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