I have to admit, I've been shying away from Steemit lately. I feel uninspired. The purpose of creating this blog was to spread the Word and God simply hasn't been speaking with me... maybe it's because I haven't been speaking with him.

I can't seem to wake up for my morning Jesus time. I'm not motivated to pray. My daily Bible study seems more like a task to check off my to-do list than anything else. I feel alone, like God's not with me. I've completely disgraced my vessel with every sort of luxury imaginable. I'm struggling with sloth and my arch nemesis- gluttony. What's worse is that I know better. I'm not a lost sheep wandering without a purpose, no I'm far worse.

I'm disobedient.

Today, my studies have brought me to Jonah. Talk about disobedience!

The Lord spoke to Jonah and told him to go to Nineveh and announce His judgement against the wicked city, but Jonah ran the other way....literally. He bought a ticket and got on board a ship going in the other direction. I wonder what was going through his mind. Perhaps it mimicked my thoughts this morning while I hid under the covers whilst my alarm blared for the fifth time - "The God of the universe just told me to do something, but I don't want to. So I'm going to get on this ship and sail away into the ocean hideout. Certainly he won't find me there..."

That just doesn't seem like sound logic - and it wasn't! You see, God will meet you wherever you're at whether it's in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea like Jonah, or stuck in a depressive slump like me.

God sent a storm that shook that ship to the point of disaster. As the waves crashed against the bow the crew began throwing cargo overboard. These experienced sailors knew that this storm was something special - heaven sent- and began casting lots to find out who had angered the gods. Who do you think they found at fault?

Jonah of course.

Jonah knew what needed to be done. He asked to be thrown overboard. The crew continued to try to save the ship but as the storms conditions worsened they prayed to God for forgiveness and tossed Jonah into the waters. As Jonah's body was sinking into the darkness of the depths of the sea, two amazing things happened:

1.) As soon as his body hit the water the storm stopped. When it did the pagan sailors offered a sacrifice to Yahweh and vowed to serve him- showing that God can take our messes and turn them into something beautiful!

2.) God sent a giant fish to save Jonah from the murky depths. It may not have been a sweet smelling path to salvation, but Jonah was saved nonetheless. God could have let him die and used one of his other, more faithful prophets at Nineveh, but he didn't. Instead he chose to offer Jonah, a rebellious, defiant, sinner a second chance. That fish spit out Jonah after three days (foreshadowing Jesus' three days in the grave,) and shortly after Jonah arrived on the shore, God approached him with his mission again.

Even though I felt alone the past few weeks, God never left my side. And when I was insubordinately snoozing my alarm, He was watching and waiting for the perfect time to reach out and save me from my downward spiral into the deep.

When your destructive cycle of disobedience is sending you plunging into the darkness, remember that God is just a call away from you too. That is just one of the many awesome properties of God's grace. We are all sinners, we are all disobedient at times, yet God pursues us and freely offers us undeserved grace. What a merciful God we serve!

Have you ever been in a spiritual rut and struggled with defiance? How did God save you from your disobedience? Do you know someone who is rebelling against their creator and needs prayer? Meditate on these questions, or comment your response below! :)

Love & Blesings
XXX OOO