Who are you?
That's a very big question, and every person answers it a little differently. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Maybe you're a mother. Or a nerd. Or a health enthusiast. Maybe you're the smart one in your family. Or the friend with strong political insights. Maybe you're the boss at work. Or the faithful employee that works harder than everyone else. Or the one who always seems to get the short end of the stick.
Have you ever tried to change that? Have you ever been so disenfranchised with how you see yourself, or with the way others see you, that you've endeavored to give yourself an identity makeover?
Most of us do at some point or another.
It may be a small transition, like how we dress or what we drive. Very often it coincides with larger life transitions, like going from high school to college, getting married, or having kids.
But of all the ways to change yourself, I cannot think of a more dramatic identity change than going from one gender to another. That's huge. I mean, regardless of whether or not anything changes biologically, and regardless of whether or not gender has anything to do with biology (let's save that debate for another day), it's still a massive transformation.
But how much does it really change?
The suicide rate among the transgender community is exceptionally high (about 10x the national average). Conventional wisdom would see this is no surprise - if somebody is so uncomfortable in their own skin that they feel everything right down to the plumbing is wrong, you'd have to imagine that even the most innocuous daily routine would be emotionally difficult. Switching genders then would seem, if nothing else, a reasonable cure to the pain of feeling like you don't belong in your own body. But, as it turns out, it's not. There is virtually no statistical change pre or post transition.
In other words, it doesn't solve the problem.
I recently watched an interview with someone who transitioned at the age of 20 (Blaire White on The Rubin Report - I'd highly recommend checking it out). When the topic of suicide rate came up, they said something I thought was very insightful. "There's just so much more to life." Blaire went on to say that most people struggling with gender identity see transitioning as the solution to their problems. But it's really not. It won't fix your relationships. It won't improve your career or financial situation. If you don't like yourself before, you aren't going to like yourself after. It doesn't really change who you are.
There's a lot of different things we can look to for identity: Gender, income, IQ, relationship, job, race, style, GPA, sexuality, political affiliation, creative expression... the list is endless. There are a lot of good options to pick from! How can one choose??
If I might be so bold, let me offer some criteria against which to measure. Your identity needs to offer three things:
- Self-Worth - You're not a worm.
- Coherence - It won't lead you to cognitive dissonance.
- Stability - Consistency that supersedes circumstances.
Fair enough? Not too crazy, right?
Now, here comes the big question. What best meets all of three criteria?
If you are reading this, you probably already know I'm a Christian. That's my bias. That's where I'm approaching this from. So, given that, here's my angle: I would propose that only in Christ are all three of these fully realized.
In Christ, you are beloved by God, the creator of the universe. You aren't just random happenstance, the product of molecules in motion; you are the carefully designed, meticulously crafted work of the ultimate artisan, who had your face in mind before the sun ever graced the surface of the earth. You are invaluable His sight!
In Christ, you are more than the sum of your ever changing, often contradictory, thoughts and emotions. You aren't left to pick which things you feel are the real you. What freedom!
In Christ, your identity is gifted and not earned. It's not performance based, subject to elation or depression based on how well you are doing any given day. At the peak of your profession, you are humbly reminded of your need for a savior. At the rock bottom of addiction, you are reminded that Jesus died for you knowing full well the terrible choices you'd make. Even on your worst day, there is reason to rejoice!
And if you aren't buying it, I welcome you to argue otherwise.
You see, the biblical account for transgenderism isn't that it's the be-all-end-all of sins. It is a sin, but no more so than any other. At the end of the day, sin is just choosing something else above God. Some people do this with work. Others with hobbies. Others with relationships. Others with their sexuality. And others with gender.
Jesus isn't calling us simply to adhere to a list of good things to do and bad things not to do. He's calling us to place our identity (our image, our self-worth, our "usness") in him. That's the big idea. And that's why it doesn't matter what your problem is, be it dissatisfaction with your current financial situation or feeling out of place in your own skin. In Christ, and only in Christ, will you find a you that you can live with.
"Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" - Jeremiah 13:23
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17