Today was the Ministry staff meeting and I turned in my resignation letter giving 6 weeks notice. I was awake all night thinking about it but after the events of the last week I felt I had no other option left to me.
Remember the militant black guy?
To make a long story short, we had a young black guy come to the house a couple of weeks ago that though it was a good idea to constantly talk about militant black power politics in a Christian transitional housing program. We had told him on several occasions that it was not acceptable in our house and he would not stop.
We had written him up over and over and he would not stop with his behavior. Keep in mind here we have 4 other black gentlemen in our house, and they were often the ones complaining about this kid. Frankly we were all sick if his spewing excuses and hatred.
One day last week he made several comments when he was in the van going to programming in front of other residents. This was the day after I had chosen not to write him up yet again. I sent a text out on the group text and bluntly told the rest of the staff what had happened and that I felt it was time for this guy to go.
Even Jesus turned over tables with whips when he had enough!
So what happened?
The former Resident Manager, who I have had conflict with every since I was a resident, was on vacation in Hawaii and had recently returned. He sits on our board of directors and for some reason is still on our group thread for staff. He saw the group text about this guy, who he had had contact with a grand total of one time, and decided that he needed to stay.
I had class on Friday when they decided to meet with this guy, but there was a consensus that it was time for him to leave. Somehow, the former Resident Manager came to the meeting and got a big list of requirements for the guy to bbe able to stay!
Who do you think it falls on to police these requirements? Me!
Last straw.
This program is not a treatment program, it is for guys that want to live a different life. I get very upset when I see the staff making choices that leads the residents that actually want to be here to feel as if they aren't being listened to. More personally, I feel as if I was not being listened to.
I had made up my mind that I was going to leave at the end of the semester, but this just brought things to a head a whole lot sooner. I was up all last night praying and thinking about what to do and I realized that my own recovery and sobriety were suffering from continuing to hold this job. It was time to move on.
I wrote a letter of resignation and presented it at the staff meeting today. I explained that I still wanted to remain a part of the ministry, I just could not continue in the role I am currently in. When I wake up irritated and go to bed the same way, it is time for change.
I am not sure what the future holds, I have 6 weeks to find a new place to live and honestly I am scared about it. I have yet to live on my own since getting sober. I do not worry about going back to using, I do worry about having a purpose in life.
I know this, God will make his way clear if I submit to him. Pray for me.
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