As I read through my prayers and writings while in the hole just over 2 years ago, I see both amazing healing from just writing and praying, but I also see the ugly reality of indoctrinated religion and the brainwashing of seperation and sin....I want to share a prayer today that I wrote and in this prayer you see the self condemnation, and guilt and fear that God was mad at me, you see the damage of religion....I know I do, and yet God in His grace and love walked me through it all and here I sit in awareness of AGAPE.....God will use anything if we seek Him in sincerity and truth, and I'm so grateful to be where I am today, and learning everyday about Love.....
9/25/2015---8 days in isolation
Father In Heaven-
I plead the precious blood of Jesus over my mind, heart, soul and spirit....Father tonight I ask for strength to perform your will from this point on in my life. I have been fighting your will for so many years, always doing things my way. And in doing so I see I have created the life Your word says "Destruction".....My heart cries out for you in my deepest despair...Please let your Holy Cleansing Spirit fill me that I may be able to serve your will....I have continued over the last few years to blame depression for my failures, but I know I have also just wanted to feed my own lustful desires..(SEE THE RELIGION/GUILT/SELF-CONDEMNATION)
I feel so distant from you and wonder if you are even near me, can you hear me, do you see me? Where are you o God, please don't forsake me because of my folly and my errors..(SEE THE SEPERATION INDOCTRINATION)...
Bring healing to my soul, bring truth to my mind, and direction to my path...Let every step going forward be ordered by You...Let my desire for your word and prayer be ignited(RELIGIOUS MINDSET)...Let my spirit be put on fire, let my soul seek those things which are above and not worry about my carnal life...Let your wings cover me in this dark place, and your love fill my heart...Holy Spirit be close to me and forgive me(FEAR GOD WAS MAD AND SEPERATED)...
Help me in my hours of despair. Bring healing to every aspect of my life but most importantly let my life be one that seeks you and glorifies You. Let your Truth be known in my heart and take away my doubt..
Much love and blessings 🙏😇💓
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