Given your willingness to discuss this subject and your familiarity with Scripture, I seriously doubt that you have committed the unforgivable sin. After all:

1 Timothy 1:13-15 = “Although I [Paul] was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief."

The penalty of eternal separation from God with no hope of return applies in scripture only in two cases—either, as in Hebrews 6 and 10, to persons who willfully, publicly and explicitly reject Jesus as Savior after having confessed him, or, as in the gospels, to those who blaspheme against the Holy Spirit by declaring that the works of Jesus were the works of the Evil one.

I found this explanation somewhat helpful: The Unpardonable Sin

When Jesus spoke to the Pharisees, He told them that all sin and blasphemy (defined by the scribes as a direct and explicit abuse of the name of God) is forgivable. He then added an exception for a very specific type of blasphemy, that which is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. In context, the Pharisees had just said that Jesus’ power to cast out devils was by Beelzebub (Matthew 12:24). Beelzebub means “lord of flies,” and was the name of a guardian deity of the Ekronites (2 Kings 1:2). The Jews used this name as an epithet for Satan. In this context, the Pharisees were saying that Jesus was of Satan. The scribes also attributed Jesus’ power as given by Satan (Mark 3:22). The words of the Pharisees and scribes were blasphemy of Jesus. Their words were a direct and explicit abuse of His name and a rejection of who Jesus is.
This blasphemy by the Pharisees and scribes led Jesus to expound more clearly on a sin that was, and always will be, unpardonable—the blaspheming of the Holy Spirit. Since the work of the Holy Spirit is to testify of Jesus, when someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit they are rejecting the testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ.

While someone is doing that, there is, by definition, no way for help to reach them.

So just quit doing that!