Holiday stress
What to celebrate, whom to celebrate with, where to celebrate, what to eat, who will be preparing it, what to wear, whom to buy presents, when to do the shopping? Just a few of the questions which we need to figure out our answers to, when it comes to the holiday celebrations. And all the time in the back of our heads is this nervous little voice telling us that the holiday season should be the best time of the year and everybody's happy so we should be too and everything has to be just perfect and we are the ones responsible to make it so. Ever felt this way?
The last three years my husband and I spent the whole of December 'elsewhere'. Cambodia in 2014, Thailand in 2015 and India in 2016. We didn't celebrate Christmas or New Year's in any possible way, just skipped it. Our families didn't really like it. But we did. It was really a great break from holiday expectations. Sometimes I think we are not aware enough of how we are conditioned by society. To think that certain things are really great and should make us really happy, and that they should always go together with this or that. These 'certain things' and 'this or that' being indoctrinated in us from the youngest age by what we read, what we watch on tv, what the commercials feed us. Then on a subconscious level, when the holidays happen and don't turn out like in the commercials and the movies, we feel disappointed or sad or lonely or depressed or all of those together. Which is sad, because we are made to feel that way by the industries that make money off the whole thing.
I'll do it my way
You might gather that I'm not the biggest fan of holidays and celebrations. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy to celebrate. But for me, I'll pick the moment that suits me myself. When I'm in the mood, when I feel like spending time with family, when I'm inspired to buy someone something etc etc. THAT is when I'll do it. Call me stubborn, call me selfish. I just like it better to do things when they're coming from my own heartfelt eagerness and inspiration, not when I'm supposed to and everyone is already expecting it from me. I don't know - living up to expectations is just a waste of life. My humble opinion ;).
So, after skipping everyone's expectation of us joining for the holiday season for three years, I feel confident I can join and have little of the burden of other people's opinions. Now here's an interesting thing I should add. I've come to understand that it is not really those other people and their opinion that matters. For all I know, they might not even be having one. But the problem comes in where I bother about other people's opinions and expectations. The problem is not what is in other people's heads (we'll never know that for sure anyway, might be empty as far as we know), but what I think is in their heads. Now, this holiday season, I feel that they can expect all they want, have opinions as they want. But I am in a space where I feel free to do what I want, no matter what I think they think of me. Haha, lol - am I making any sense?
Second hand shopping
Anyways. One of the expressions of me just enjoying doing things the way I do them was getting myself a new outfit for Christmas, but getting it second hand. I've been shopping second hand clothing for a while now. In Netherlands we have an awesome website, www.marktplaats.nl, where you can put all your stuff up for sale or obviously, to buy stuff. And I've become a real fan of getting my clothing from there. I can search for my favourite brands, I have tons of choice and its real easy to select on right sizes and such. For me, it works way better than going to stores and physically having to look through so many items to find what I like. And it definitely beats regular online shopping, because prices are one fourth or one fifth or maybe even way less from what you'll regularly pay. My experiences have been really fine - you agree on a price with the seller, they package the item and a few days later you get it delivered at home. Till now, of the multiple pair of pants I bought only one was too small. And quality has been decent, I get what I thought I would be getting from the pictures people shared.
It's not that I don't have money for regular shopping. We've invested in crypto's and my husband is doing well with it. We have some real estate we're renting out which adds to our monthly income. And well, there's regular income. It's rather, apart from enjoying wearing clothing I like, I enjoy it extra if I got it at a really good price, and also knowing that a clothing item that otherwise would have been wasted is now being re-used. By me!
One of the brands I look for on this 'marktplaats', is Gsus Sindustries. It's Dutch design, and I love the attention for detail and the quality of their clothing items. For example, look at this little wordplay:
So a few days back I bought this Gsus dress with the funny owl for 10 euro's, including packaging costs. I'll be feeling happy joining the holiday celebrations, but doing things the way I want to. And I am most sure not everyone will think my outfit is amazing, but at least I'll be happy every time I see the weird owl and remember that I am free in life to do as I want, that expectations are only an issue if I let them mess with my head. I'll meet my family and friends and whether we have the best time or not, doesn't really matter. Life is a lot of fun, every day. Food will not make life good, outfits will not make it good, friends and family will not make it good. Just knowing that life has all I ever wanted and will have all I ever need for today and till forever, knowing that life is an amazing game to play and can be played however I like it - that's what matters, if you ask me.
All of us will spend these days in our own way. I just hope no one will face sadness or depression or will be feeling lonely, just because society has indoctrinated us that these days should be happy days, should be spent with your loved ones, should be etc etc. If they're not, please be happy that you're at least breaking away from that horrid world of expectations and living up to them. Wishing you happiness not because of all that nonsense, but because happiness is what comes naturally when all the nonsense drops. So no more stress please. The food will be fine. The company will be fine. Your outfit will be fine. Relax, take a deep breath, it will be over before you know it.