It's Christmas, probably too late to be sharing these tips, but hey! there will be more Christmases to come.
So, Christmas in a Nigerian home is different affair I'd like to assume.
Christmas means travelling home from the city. It means food, lot's of food with more meat than usual.
Christmas is random cash dropping off nice people, and my favourite, Christmas means boo/bae scouting.
Now that's the good part. The part we all dream of. But we know sometimes, Christmas can also mean NOSY FAMILY MEMBERS!!!!
They can be described as those ones who have the greatest expectations of you and little from them, besides being 'aunties' and 'uncles' or some irrelevant extended senior cousin.
They are the ones that reserve the exclusive right to ask the most cringe-worthy questions like: 'so, when are you getting married?' and if you are already married, you'd get stuff like 'are you pregnant yet?' Of course, you are totally theirs, your reproductive system inclusive.
Now, to the crux of the matter, the solution is simple - HAVE A DAMN ANSWER .
What were you thinking it would be? Let's take a look at some of these questions and the possible answers that work.
For Teens
Q. I hope you are doing well in school?
A. Yes Ma/sir.
Bonus : Back it up with your most recent achievement, like a competition you won or not, just keep it juicy and spicy.
For Undergraduates
Q. What is your CGPA?
I know how heart-wrenching this question can be, don't fret.
A. 4.0
That's safe enough.
For Graduates
Q. So, Where are you working?
A. I am a blogger/freelancer.
Unless you have an actual job, you don't want village people affirming that truly, you are worthless.
Q. So, When are you getting married?
A. Very soon. Very very soon. Very Very very soon.
Bonus : Insert a possible date according to the level of your faith.
For Married folks without kids
Q. When are we seeing your children?
A. We are actively working on it.
Bonus : Desist from any sort of explanation.
If you can provide an answer to the above question, you are by all means considered 'successful' and as such, guaranteed a blissful celebration. Until then, avoid them.
