I felt so guilty walking into a new church building this morning. No one in the church knew me, so no one knew of my hidden shame, but I felt like I was sneaking away to cheat on my church with another. I know that sounds ridiculous, but in all honesty, changing church families is a huge decision. I decided to take the step today.
I wrote a post yesterday about why people choose to leave a church. Mostly, I wrote that post for myself, because deep inside, I have been considering a change. Now, don't get me wrong, my current church family are wonderful people, mostly, to everyone. But, like in any organization, there is friction. I first felt it when my husband left me. Although no one blatantly cast judgement on me, many went cold. It may have been scorn, it may have disgust, heck, it may have even been pity. Who knows, but cold is cold. I felt the chill. And, just like in any divorce, some friends went with him. Alliances were formed. I won some, I lost some. It happens, even in church.
So, today, I decided to make a change. I took my teenage daughter and headed to a United Methodist Church in my town. We spoke about it in advance. Moving a teen is a tough choice, too. But, she is open to meeting new people and this new church is very close to the high school she will soon attend, so I had a hook. We took the plunge and together embarked on a spiritual adventure.
I grew up in a United Methodist Church, from my early teens on. I spent my younger years in a Catholic Church, which I still love, but a change in address resulted in a change of friends, landing me smack dab in a small, friendly Methodist Church nestled in the heart of Miami. I knew immediately I had found my home with Christ. I blossomed through my teen years as a member of their Methodist Youth Fellowship. My years in MYF are still some of the most precious in my life. Never have I ever felt as close with Christ. I remember trips to the Methodist Youth Camp in Leesburg, FL. It was a wonderful time in my life.
Since those days, I wandered off to college and away from Christ for several decades before I returned. I moved around from one nondenominational church to another over the years, and even connected with many people in my current church. But, I missed something. I felt close to Christ in my personal prayers and especially when I served in the Lord's name. Soup kitchens, community service, and turkey drives are where I feel the Holy Spirit working through me the most. Yet, I did not feel a real connection to any other churches. My heart was still home with the UMC.
Today, when I returned to a United Methodist Church, I immediately felt at home. Methodist hold fellowship and community dear. I truly embrace the Methodist Social Creed. Here are some clips that speak directly to my connection with Christ:
"We believe in God, Creator of the world; and in Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of creation. We believe in the Holy Spirit, through whom we acknowledge God’s gifts, and we repent of our sin in misusing these gifts to idolatrous ends." UMC
"We commit ourselves to the rights of men, women, children, youth, young adults, the aging, and people with disabilities; to improvement of the quality of life; and to the rights and dignity of all persons."UMC
"We believe in the present and final triumph of God’s Word in human affairs and gladly accept our commission to manifest the life of the gospel in the world. Amen."UMC
These statements are the core of what my heart has longed to say aloud for decades. I remember now why I felt so close to Jesus, so full of the Holy Spirit when I was younger. I am thankful the Lord gave us the direction and courage to branch out today, and come on back home to the United Methodist Church.
My final word, in this edition of Faith-Based Real Talk:
There are many churches out there, many doctrines, many interpretations of the bible, many mission statements, many pastors, many missions, many of it all ... but only one Holy Father, who sent his One and Only Son to Redeem us. Just one. He is in all these churches. He is everywhere.
Seek Him.