Diana Baumrind determined that there were four distinct patterns of parenting, which were “based upon two aspects of parenting behavior: control and warmth” (Kopko, 2007). Control, in this scenario, refers the level to which parents can guide or manage their child’s behavior. Warmth, on the other hand, represents the extent to which parents can accept and respond to their child’s behavior, instead of simply “being unresponsive and rejecting” (Kopko, 2007). Furthermore, the four parenting styles identified by Baumrind are: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Uninvolved. I will elaborate on the first of the four, Authoritative, as this is the one that I believe is the most effective.
Authoritative style of parenting is both “warm and firm” (Kopko, 2007). These parents support their child so that they may become independent; however, they always impose limits and controls on the actions of the child. Likewise, they do not simply assert their correctness in parenting, they demonstrate to their child the reasons for their rules, as well as listen to them and take into consideration their opinions and desires. As stated by Kopko (2007), “research demonstrates that adolescents of authoritative parents learn how to negotiate and engage in discussions” (Kopko, 2007). They also “understand that their opinions are valued and, as a result, they are more likely to be socially competent, responsible, and autonomous” (Kopko, 2007).
I would like to share that the parenting style that I grew up with was the Authoritative style. My parents were always involved in every aspect of my life: school, work, and social (relationships). They expressed that they cared about me and showed concern for the decisions that I made. Rules were set by them, and they explained the purpose of those rules; however, they were flexible and took the time to consider the possibility of making exceptions for their rules. For example, as I got older, they extended my curfew on multiple occasions so that I would be able to go to the movies and parties. They would also make suggestions when I would mention an issue with a boyfriend, for example; they would give me the opportunity to deal with the problem myself, and allow me to learn from my own experiences. Eventually, I would learn that I should have followed their suggestion.
Being raised with an Authoritative parenting style had a positive effect on my cognitive and personality development. According to Steinberg, Lamborn, Dornbusch, and Darling (1992): “American children raised by authoritative parents tend to have high self-esteem and social skills and work well with others” (Steinberg, Lamborn, Dornbusch, & Darling, 1992). I am living proof that this is accurate; I have a high self-esteem, and it is nearly impossible to put me down. Furthermore, I strongly believe that the most important quality, or skill, that an individual can possess is to be able to work well with others and get along with people of different cultures, backgrounds, and opinions. Additionally, being raised by parents who used the Authoritative style led me to develop a secure attachment, which means that although I may miss my parents or need them emotionally under certain circumstances, I see them more as a safe haven, rather than a requiring their presence at all times to feel safe, or secure. I can act in an independent manner, without having to resort to my parents for approval or opinion. Thanks to the style of parenting that I had, I am now able to recognize situations that I should avoid, and which steps to take to guarantee a positive outcome. Furthermore, I plan on raising my children in the same manner that I have been raised; hopefully, they turn out the same way that I did.
References
Kopko, K. (2007). Parenting Styles and Adolescents. Retrieved October 7, 2017, from Cornell University: College of Human Ecology: http://www.human.cornell.edu/pam/outreach/parenting/parents/upload/Parenting-20Styles-20and-20Adolescents.pdf
Steinberg, L., Lamborn, S. D., Dornbusch, S. M., & Darling, N. (1992). Impact of Parenting Practices on Adolescent Achievement: Authoritative Parenting, School Involvement, and Encouragement to Succeed. Child Development, 63(5), 1266-1281. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.1992.tb01694.x