I have not posted in awhile. I was in a rough patch. I guess writing one's own experience has its toll on that person because it brings back trauma and painful memories.
好一阵子没有写帖子了！我的情绪变得很糟糕，因为我写着的内容让我回想起来很不愉快的往事。
Today I am going to the final part of my story. I am glad it is the final part. So, symptom 7, having trouble making decisions or concentrating. This symptom mostly affected my studies because i was like a headless chicken, dont know what to do or how to do. I had trouble focusing and concentrating on lectures that i dont even know which chapter the teachers were teaching.
今天是最后一篇的完结篇。有时会拿不定主意做决定尤其是上课的时候，就像是失去方向的公鸡不知道白天和黑夜的分别。根本无心上课也不明白老师正在讲解些什么。
The last symptoms is the most disturbing one. Having suicidal thoughts. And if a person is not strong-willed, they will definitely not pass this stage. I remember knowing ways how to end a person's life (well, in this case, my life). At nights when i cant sleep, i lay my bed thinking all about it. I remember thinking wouldnt it be easier if i just disappear. It is easier that way but when i think about all the people that cared about me. I rather keep the pain and suffering to myself and not hurt them. When people who knows about my depression ask me why do people who suffered depression suicides, my answer to them is when a person decided to suicide, it is because they dont want to live with the depression anymore, dying seems like the easy way out.
最后的一个症状是最让人焦炉的。总是想要结束自己的生命觉得生活很没有意义，如果自己的意志不够坚强知道很难克服这个难关！
So, my advice to those out there who are suffering from depression is that, talk to someone, anyone. It really helps and it feels better than fighting it on your own.
我个人的经验是如果真的是患上了抑郁症，请找一位可以帮自己走出这个症状的人来帮助自己度过这个艰难的时段。千万不要自己一个人默默的承受，如果克服不了抑郁症的折磨很有可能会做出伤害自己的举动！
Thank You!
谢谢与我分享我的抑郁症经历！