“大渣好，我系渣渣辉”……
前阵子被张家辉的魔性普通话刷屏，粤语腔普通话是不是有种“明明说的是中文，奏是听不懂”的忧桑……
As a speaker of American English, I once told my British coworker that I needed to stop home before our next appointment because my pants were wet. He responded with “I certainly didn't need to know that!”, looking surprised that I had told him.
我说的是美式英语。有一回我告诉英国同事，因为裤子湿了所以见面之前我得先回趟家。他却说“我真没必要知道这些！”而且看起来超惊讶的。
The confusion in this case was based on the fact that in the U.S., pants means everything from slacks to blue jeans, while in Britain, pants means underwear. I had gotten the bottom of my slacks wet from walking in the snow, but he thought I was saying that I had peed my underwear.
其实吧，这里面的关键误会在于：美式英语中pants指宽松长裤或蓝色牛仔裤等所有裤子，而英式英语中pants则指内裤。所以，我说的是在雪地里走弄湿了裤脚，而他却以为我说自己尿裤子了……
Pants:
What it means in the U.S.: Outerwear from the waist to the ankles; trousers.
美式英语：长裤
What it means in the U.K.: Underwear.
英式英语：内裤
On a related note, in the 90s there was a popular song that had a female backup singer repeating the line “pissing the night away” over and over. The members of the band were all British, which is important in understanding that “pissing the night away” essentially means “drinking the night away” or even just “wasting time all night long”. In the U.S., pissing means “urinating”.
类似的例子还有~90年代有一首流行歌曲，里面有个伴唱女歌手一直重复 “pissing the night away”。乐队成员都是英国人，这一点很重要，因为这句在他们看来就是“喝了一晚上酒”或“消磨一晚上的时间”。 BUT! 在美式英语中，pissing指“小便”。
I had a really hard time trying to figure out why anyone would want to spend all night peeing. Another possible confusion arising from the very same verb is the fact that a person who is “pissed” is drunk in Britain, but really really angry in the U.S.
有段时间我真的很费解，为啥有人想要尿一整晚……此外，这个动词还可能造成另一个误会——在英国，如果说一个人pissed，意思是“喝醉了”，但在美国，则指这个人“非常非常生气”。
Pissed
What it means in the U.S .: Angry.
美式英语：怒了
What it means in the U.K.: Drunk.
英式英语：醉了
That leads to another common misunderstanding. In the U.S., if I said that so-and-so was “mad”, I would mean that that person was angry. In Britain, the word mad is the common term for “crazy”.
另一个常见的误会是：美式英语中mad指一个人很生气，而英式英语中则指“疯了”。
If an American asks “Are you mad?”, they're likely trying to find out what they did wrong; if a Briton asks the same question, they're accusing you of insanity.
所以如果一个美国人问“Are you mad” ?他们可能想问自己是不是哪里做错惹你生气了，而英国人则是在指责你疯了。
Mad
What it means in the U.S .: Angry.
美式英语：怒了
What it means in the U.K.: Crazy.
英式英语：疯了
As a fun exercise in a class I taught a few years ago, I wrote the following story that means entirely different things in U.S. and British English:
多年前，我曾在课堂上做过一个有趣的练习：我写了下面这个故事↓↓↓
Yesterday I woke up late for an appointment. I washed up, then pulled on some pants and suspenders, and grabbed a vest on my way out the door. I drove out toward the university and got a flat. I've had a flat before, but never on my own. So I called my dad to tell him about it and find out what kinds of things I should be checking for... I ended up catching a lift with my new neighbor, who's really fit, by the way.
看到这个故事世纪君脑补的剧情是酱式儿哒：
昨天我有约但起晚了，洗漱完我穿上裤子和背带，抓了一件背心就出门啦。我开车去大学方向，轮胎爆了，以前也爆过，但都有别人在。所以我给爸爸打电话告诉他这件事，想了解一下该检查啥……最后，我搭了新邻居的车，顺便说一下邻居很壮。
觉得挺简单的有木有~但是美国小伙伴和英国小伙伴脑补的剧情简直差了十万八千里：
美国小伙伴们听到的剧情跟世纪君的脑补一样：
In the American version, I woke up, washed my face, put on some slacks and some suspenders to hold them up (braces in British English), and put on a vest (a waistcoat in British English). In other words, I was dressed up in nice clothes for my appointment. Then, on the way to the appointment, my car got a flat tire, but it was OK because I got a ride with my new neighbor, who was an athletic person.
我起床，洗脸，穿上长裤，系上背带（英式英语中背带叫braces），穿上马甲（英式英语中马甲叫waistcoat）。总之呢就是我为约会精心打扮了一下下。然后，在赴约的路上，我的车胎爆了，但还好同行的新邻居体格很壮。
而在英国小伙伴那里，故事的画风就有点诡异了：
In the British version, I woke up, did the dishes, and put on some underwear, stocking garters, and a sleeveless undershirt. In other words, I wasn't really dressed at all. Then I went across town to rent a new apartment by the university. In the new apartment building, I got into a lift (an elevator in American English) with my new neighbo(u)r, who I found sexually attractive!
我起床，刷了碗，穿上内衣、带吊袜带的袜子和无袖背心（这装扮……）。换句话说就是我基本上啥也没穿，然后就穿过镇上去租了大学旁边的一个新公寓。在新公寓楼里，我和新邻居进了电梯（美式英语中电梯叫elevator），我发现这个邻居很性感！（神马剧情啊喂！）
告别了1号话唠，迎来2号……
牛津大学学生Graham Leighton：
Yes, for sure. When I moved to the USA aged 14, there were numerous occasions when this happened. Just off the top of my head:
误会当然是少不了滴~我14岁搬去美国，酱紫的栗子简直数不胜数啊，随口就能来几个：
I ordered “biscuits” in a servo expecting the sweet things that (I subsequently found out) Americans know as cookies. Instead I got savoury lumps of dough which looked and tasted rather like cheese scones.
我点了biscuits，期待着上点美国人也知道的饼干，结果发现在美国这代表烤软饼……吃起来有点儿像英国的司康饼。
Biscuits
What it means in the U.S.: A buttery, flaky bread served with savory meals.
美式英语：软烤饼
What it means in the U.K.: A cookie.
英式英语：饼干
还有这种困扰无数身在美国的英国人的“到底是几楼”的问题：
First floor/ground floor. I'm not even going to describe how many times I had trouble with this in shopping malls. Being told I'd find something I wanted “on the first floor” (ground floor in English) and wondering if they were having me on when I went to the first floor (or second floor in American) and found it contained something completely different and probably unsuitable, like lingerie.
关于楼层这个问题碰了多少次壁咱就不说了。在商场被告知我要找的东西在二楼（英式英语里first floor是二楼，一楼是ground floor），上去了却发现卖的东西和我要找的完全不搭……
First floor
What it means in the U.S.: The floor at ground level.
美式英语：一楼
What it means in the U.K.: The floor above the ground level floor.
英式英语：二楼
Last year, I was dating an American study abroad student who I went to a cricket match with. I warned her in advance not to be surprised, but lots of people came to cricket matches in fancy dress. She was rather surprised she couldn't see any people like that when we arrived.
去年，我和一个美国留学生约会看板球。去之前我提醒她，看到很多人穿着fancy dress别吃惊。去了之后她表示根本没有那样的着装啊！
It turned out that to her, “fancy dress” meant “formal wear” whereas to me, “fancy dress” means hilarious costumes.
原来，在她看来“fancy dress”表示正装，而在我看来则是滑稽的服装。
Fancy dress
What it means in the U.S.: Formal wear.
美式英语：正装
What it means in the U.K.: Hilarious costumes.
英式英语：滑稽的服装
吐血整理的网友3号来了~
截至今年1月，已经走遍49个国家的Ian Sawyer分享了他的个人经历：
Some years ago, a friend who ran a small manufacturing business was on the receiving end of an attempt by an American customer to sue him for failure to deliver goods ordered. I can't recall all the details, but this was due to a misunderstanding about dates.
多年前，一个经营小型制造业的朋友遭到一个美国顾客的投诉，原因是未能及时交货。具体细节我记不清了，但这个误会和日期的写法有关。
The order he'd received stated delivery to be (something like) 03/04/2010, which he, like everyone else outside the USA, read as being the 3rd of April. But to his US customer, it meant the 4th of March…
订单上的交付日期是03/04/2010，他和其他非美国人一样认为是2010年4月3号。但这位美国顾客认为，03/04/2010指的是3月4号……
What we do here when dealing with any US customers is to always quote the date in words, so as there's no ambiguity; even Americans should be able to understand that :-)
所以针对美国顾客的订单，我们通常会用文字注明日期来避免歧义。酱紫美国盆友也能理解啦~
说到英式英语和美式英语的区别，世纪君之前也做过类似的内容不知道小伙伴们是否还记得来来来一起复习下：
Trainers
What it means in the U.S.: A fitness expert who helps you work out.
美式英语：健身教练
What it means in the U.K.: Sneakers.
英式英语：运动鞋
Chaps
What it means in the U.S.: Leather leggings worn by cowboys designed to protect the legs whilst horseback riding.
美式英语：皮套裤（牛仔们骑马时穿着可保护双腿）
What it means in the U.K.: Guys.
英式英语：兄弟，朋友们
Braces
What it means in the US: Devices for straightening teeth.
美式英语：矫正牙齿的牙套
What it means in the UK: Suspenders.
英式英语：吊裤带
Comforter
What it means in the U.S.: A quilted bedspread.
美式英语：被子
What it means in the U.K.: A baby's pacifier.
英式英语：（婴儿用的）安抚奶嘴
小伙伴们有没有遇到过英式英语和美式英语引起的误会？欢迎留言哈~