批判性思考和讨论
从最好方面讲，讨论可以深化对问题理解，促进问题的解决并做出决策。从最坏的方面讲，讨论会使神经紧张，制造敌意，重要的问题还得不到解决。不幸的是，现代文化中大多数著名的讨论的案例——电台和电视脱口秀——通常都造成后面的结果。
很多主持人要求他们的嘉宾就复杂的问题简单地回答"是"或者"不是"。如果嘉宾按照这个要求回答，他们会因为过于简单而被批评。相反，如果他们尝试提供一个均衡的答案，主持人会大叫，"你没有回答问题，"打断后就自己作答。同意主持人意见的嘉宾受到热情对待；其他人被认为无知或者不诚实而驳回。通常，当两个嘉宾在争论问题时，即使另外一个人在大叫，"让我说完"时，每个人轮流打断对方。没有谁有一点愿望去了解别人。典型的是，当节目快要结束了，主持人会感谢参与者的"热烈的争论"并且向观众保证下次还有更多同样的争论。
这里有一些指引可以确保你参与的讨论——在教室、在工作场所、或者在家里——比你在电视上看到的更加文明、有意义、有效率。遵循这些指引，你将为你周围的人们树立一个好榜样。
只要有可能，事先准备。不是每个讨论都可以事先准备，但是很多可以。议事日程通常在商业会议或委员会召开前几天公布。在大学的课程中，作业进度表对于指定的日子里在教室要讨论什么有可靠的指示。使用这些信息做好准备：从反思你就这个主题你已经知道什么开始，然后决定你如何拓展你的知识并准备花费多少时间去做。（在图书馆或者互联网重点搜索15分钟到20分钟可以就绝大多数主题找到非常多的信息。）尝试预测在讨论中可能提出观点的不同要点，考虑一下它们各有什么优点。对于这些要点，你的结论应该是尝试性的，这样你就能对其他人提出的事实和理解保持开放态度。
设定合理的预期。你是否有过这样的讨论，其他人并没有放弃他们的观点和接受你的想法？你有没有感受到被冒犯，当有些人不同意你，并且问你有什么证据可以支持你的意见？如果对这两个问题之一的答案是肯定的，你可能对其他人期望太高。很少有人会轻易的快速改变自己的想法，特别是那些长时间持有的观念。而且当人们遇到和他们相反的想法时，他们自然的就要知道支持这些想法的证据是什么。预期你的观点被质疑，并且做出开心和谦逊的回应。
将自我中心和个人议程抛诸脑后。有效率的讨论离不开互相尊重和礼貌的氛围。自我中心会导致对他人的不尊重，尤其是这些想法"我比其他人更重要""我的想法比其他人的更好"，还有“规则不适用于我。”个人偏好，比如不喜欢另一个参与者或者对其中一个观点特别热心，会引发人身攻击，拒绝听取其他人的意见
参与但是不要支配。如果你是喜欢说话又有很多话要说，你可能比其他参与者参与讨论太多。另一方面，如果你比较矜持，你可能很少说话。这两者都没有错。但是，当每个人都分享想法的时候讨论才最有效率。为了这样，健谈的人需要克制一点，矜持的人需要承担起分享他们想法的职责。
避免分心的讲话习惯。这些习惯包括开始讲一句话然后突然切换到另一句，话语咕哝或含糊；用（“嗯，”“啊，”）等听得到的声音或无意义的表达（“比如”、“你知道”、“人”）来打断每个短语或从句。这些令人讨厌的举止让人们从你的谈话中分心。为了克服这些问题，听清楚自己的讲话。或者更好的办法，录下你和朋友和家人的谈话（得到他们的许可），然后回放，听一遍自己讲的话。任何时候，当你参与讨论时，都要达到清晰、直接、简洁表达的目的。
积极倾听。当参与者们不听其他人讲话，讨论就和一系列的独白没有区别了——每个人轮流说话，而其他人完全忽略到底在说什么。这些可能是完全无意中发生的，因为大脑处理思想的速度比最快的演讲者讲话传递思想的速度都快。你的大脑可能厌倦了等待，像一条脱离了链子的狗一样闲逛。在这些情况下，你可能在想她的衣服或者发型或许看着窗户外面，观察那发生了什么，而不是听别人在讲什么话。甚至当你努力去听，也很容易走神。如果说话者的内容提及到一个不相干的回忆，你可能会滑向更早一些的时间和地点。如果你不同意说话者说的内容，你可能就会开始组织回应。维持你的注意力的最好办法是对这些分心的事情保持警觉并努力制止它们。努力进入说话者的思想框架，理解说的话，并和前面所说的联系起来。不管什么时候，当你发现你的思想在漫游，把它拽回来。
负责任的对观点进行评判。观点的质量千差万别，有的意义深远有的荒谬，有的有帮助有的有害，有的高尚有的卑鄙。因此对它们做出评判是有必要的。但是，你评判的基础需要建立在对观点整体优缺点的全面考察，而不是最初的印象和感觉，这样才公平。对于你不熟悉或者和你自己想法不同的观点要特别小心，因为这些想法是你最倾向于否认，拒绝倾听的。
遏制喊叫和打断别人的冲动。毫无疑问你明白喊叫和打断讲话是粗鲁和不尊重的行为。但是你有没有认识到在很多情况下它们也是想法靠不住的标志？是的，如果你真的相信你的观点是正确的，你没有必要提高你的嗓音或者制止别人讲话。甚至即使别人采取这样的方式，证明你自信和品格的最好办法就是不要以牙还牙。友善的表示不同意见，将这作为你的规则。
原文：
** Critical Thinking and Discussion **
At its best, discussion deepens understanding and promotes problem solving and decision making. At its worst, it frays nerves, creates animosity, and leaves important issues unresolved. Unfortunately, the most prominent models for discussion in contemporary culture—radio and TV talk shows—often produce the latter effects.
Many hosts demand that their guests answer complex questions with simple “yes” or “no” answers. If the guests respond that way, they are attacked for oversimplifying. If, instead, they try to offer a balanced answer, the host shouts, “You’re not answering the question,” and proceeds to answer it himself. Guests who agree with the host are treated warmly; others are dismissed as ignorant or dishonest. Often as not, when two guests are debating, each takes a turn interrupting while the other shouts, “Let me finish.” Neither shows any desire to learn from the other. Typically, as the show draws to a close, the host thanks the participants for a “vigorous debate” and promises the audience more of the same next time.
Here are some simple guidelines for ensuring that the discussions you engage in—in the classroom, on the job, or at home—are more civil, meaningful, and productive than what you see on TV. By following these guidelines, you will set a good example for the people around you.
Whenever possible, prepare in advance. Not every discussion can be prepared for in advance, but many can. An agenda is usually circulated several days before a business or committee meeting. In college courses, the assignment schedule provides a reliable indication of what will be discussed in class on a given day. Use this information to prepare: Begin by reflecting on what you already know about the topic. Then decide how you can expand your knowledge and devote some time to doing so. (Fifteen or twenty minutes of focused searching in the library or on the Internet can produce a significant amount of information on almost any subject.) Try to anticipate the different points of view that might be expressed in the discussion and consider the relative merits of each. Keep your conclusions tentative at this point, so that you will be open to the facts and interpretations others will present.
Set reasonable expectations. Have you ever left a discussion disappointed that others hadn’t abandoned their views and embraced yours? Have you ever felt offended when someone disagreed with you or asked you what evidence you had to support your opinion? If the answer to either question is yes, you probably expect too much of others. People seldom change their minds easily or quickly, particularly in the case of long-held convictions. And when they encounter ideas that differ from their own, they naturally want to know what evidence supports those ideas. Expect to have your ideas questioned, and be cheerful and gracious in responding.
Leave egotism and personal agendas at the door. To be productive, discussion requires an atmosphere of mutual respect and civility. Egotism produces disrespectful attitudes toward others—notably, “I’m more important than other people,” “My ideas are better than anyone else’s,” and “Rules don’t apply to me.” Personal agendas, such as dislike for another participant or excessive zeal for a point of view, can lead to personal attacks and unwillingness to listen to others’ views.
Contribute but don’t dominate. If you are the kind of person who loves to talk and has a lot to say, you probably contribute more to discussions than other participants. On the other hand, if you are more reserved, you may seldom say anything. There is nothing wrong with being either kind of person. However, discussions tend to be most productive when everyone contributes ideas. For this to happen, loquacious people need to exercise a little restraint, and more reserved people need to accept responsibility for sharing their thoughts.
Avoid distracting speech mannerisms. Such mannerisms include starting one sentence and then abruptly switching to another; mumbling or slurring your words; and punctuating every phrase or clause with audible pauses (“um,” “ah,”) or meaningless expressions (“like,” “you know,” “man”). These annoying mannerisms distract people from your message. To overcome them, listen to yourself when you speak. Even better, tape your conversations with friends and family (with their permission), then play the tape back and listen to yourself. Whenever you are engaged in a discussion, aim for clarity, directness, and economy of expression.
Listen actively. When the participants don’t listen to one another, discussion becomes little more than serial monologue—each person taking a turn at speaking while the rest ignore what is being said. This can happen quite unintentionally because the mind can process ideas faster than the fastest speaker can deliver them. Your mind may get tired of waiting and wander about aimlessly like a dog off its leash. In such cases, instead of listening to the speaker’s words, you may think about her clothing or hairstyle or look outside the window and observe what is happening there. Even when you make a serious effort to listen, it is easy to lose focus. If the speaker’s words trigger an unrelated memory, you may slip away to that earlier time and place. If the speaker says something you disagree with, you may begin framing a reply. The best way to maintain your attention is to be alert for such distractions and to resist them. Strive to enter the speaker’s frame of mind, understand what is said, and connect it with what was said previously. Whenever you realize your mind is wandering, drag it back to the task.
Judge ideas responsibly. Ideas range in quality from profound to ridiculous, helpful to harmful, ennobling to degrading. It is therefore appropriate to pass judgment on them. However, fairness demands that you base your judgment on thoughtful consideration of the overall strengths and weaknesses of the ideas, not on initial impressions or feelings. Be especially careful with ideas that are unfamiliar or different from your own because those are the ones you will be most inclined to deny a fair hearing.
Resist the urge to shout or interrupt. No doubt you understand that shouting and interrupting are rude and disrespectful behaviors, but do you realize that in many cases they are also a sign of intellectual insecurity? It’s true. If you really believe your ideas are sound, you will have no need to raise your voice or to silence the other person. Even if the other person resorts to such behavior, the best way to demonstrate confidence and character is by refusing to reciprocate. Make it your rule to disagree without being disagreeable.