I became a regular coffee drinker about 8 years ago. Growing up in a Cuban household you are introduced to coffee at an early age but for some reason I never liked the taste of it. For those that have never tried Cuban coffee it is like taking two Red bulls but in a tiny cup. Being the incredible coconut that I am (brown outside and white inside) I thought that I would join the in crowd and a few years ago I tried my first Starbucks.
There I was in line waiting to be served. As I heard the woman in front of me order a strange combination of half soy, half latte no sugar, tall I began to panic. I glanced at the menu and realized that I was a foreigner in a strange land.
I broke out on a cold sweat and got a little light headed. I was desperately trying to keep it together.....
"Good morning" The voice behind the counter said. "What would you like today?" The voice repeated.
"Coffee". I said, and so my odyssey began.
It took me awhile but finally he understood that all I wanted was a black coffee. I felt so powerful to have beaten the Starbucks Gods, I AM SPARTACUS!!!!!!!!
" Sir, will that be a tall?"
" No, I want a coffee" My blood pressure rising.
"No sir, what size tall, grande or venti".
"Whatever small is, that's what I want"
I could tell that the customers behind were way beyond annoyed with me but all I wanted was a coffee and a shot at their precious club.
After paying more for the coffee than a gallon of gas I turned around to wait in another line because apparently you have to put in your own sugar.
Waiting for my coffee to cool I noticed people working on their laptops, talking to friends and worst of all taking pictures of their cups. I didn't understand. There are other places to hangout, work and its just a freakin cup.
I took two sips of my coffee. I took two sips because I could not believe the first sip was so bad. Why are all these people drinking this crap? It's just bad coffee!
Like every other stupid thought in my head it dawned on me. It's a lifestyle. Starbucks is not selling coffee they are selling a way to feel cool and important, a way to forget about your problems for awhile. They are brilliant. Well played Starbucks, well played.
If I'm on the road I go to McDonald's, small coffee, black, four sugars and a breakfast burrito if I'm feeling adventurous. I get all that for $2.31 and I'm out in five minutes. Don't get me wrong, I still go to Starbucks if a friend wants to meet or a blind date has doubt that I might be a rapist but I just get a Fiji water because if it's not Fiji its just tap water.