Enough With Your Smelly Gerbils and Tall Dog
by The Invisible Man

Dear Mrs Dooble-Fitz,

I have always felt relieved living near to you. You are the most chewy neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your broken fence.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your gerbils is too smelly and your dog way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a guitar

I have to insist that you take action to stop your broken fence from upsetting me. I demand that you clean up then train the dog.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your unsightly garden ornament increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a peaceful neighbourhood like Stella Virgin.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your broken fence on Goodreads.

Furthermore, I have close ties with gangsters and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
Toss Misalad

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
Hive account@theinvisibleman