Re: Your Lonely and Moist Apartment
by The Invisible Man
by The Invisible Man
Dear Mr Dickinme,
Thank you for providing me with a very lonely and moist apartment over the last ten years. I have really enjoyed dealing with the dirty neighbours, particularly the one who likes snuggling in the middle of the night.
I also love clearing up after the a fiery blue bottles that seems to roam the neighbourhood. I once caught two blue bottles skipping in the pantry.
Incidentally, the pantry is like a really slippery slaughter house and the living room has moss growing on the walls.
Perhaps, given that you deem 10 Autumn Avenue an acceptable place to live, you would like to inhabit it for a while. When it snows, raindrops fall through the roof. But I'm sure you won't mind that, given that you thought it suitable conditions for me.
The area is relatively crime free, during my time here, I have only known of two thefts and three muggings, making my apartment a steal at the current rent.
It is with a most grubby heart that I hereby give notice on 10 Autumn Avenue.
I've left a pair of a fiery blue bottles munching in the bath to express my gratitude.
Yours sincerely
Anita Blackman
