Memorial Day weekend in the U.S. is a weekend of family gathering and BBQs. One fruit I see year after year at every BBQ event I’ve attended is a ripe, juicy, and deliciously sweet watermelon. But how does one choose that perfectly sweet watermelon among the sea of watermelons?

Here is a Steemit-first story. I searched for watermelon nipple on Google and the search result came back with these images below. No, you will unlikely find this nipple tip on Google.

^{Image Sources: Jewelry Fun, Body Fun}

Thump Thump or Thuuummpp Thhump

My mom showed me her way of picking a sweet watermelon, which is by thumping it with your knuckle or spanking it with the palm of your hand. You then listen for a hollow sound emitted from the smackdown. I assume she meant to listen for a Thuuummmpp sound and not a simpleThump. Speaking from experience, I can’t tell one thump from another after a couple round of spanking. Does this bad boy sound more shallow? Wait, this one has some depth to it! The sounds start to blend together after several rounds of bad boy spanking.

Let’s Now Look at Nipple Size

One day at the supermarket as I was thumping away looking for my perfect watermelon, a fellow shopper said to me, “Look at the nipple size”. I scrunched up my eyebrows, confused at the term nipple being used and associated with a watermelon. He saw my confusion and explained.

"The top is the part of the watermelon that attaches to the vine."

"The bottom end of the watermelon is the nipple."

"Look for a small nipple. They are sure to be sweet and juicy."

He tossed some watermelons around until he found one with a small nipple and handed it to me.

"This one here, sweet my friend."

"Say a prayer for me if you want to thank me, if it proves to be as sweet as I say."

I came home, cut up the watermelon, and said a prayer for my supermarket friend that night.

Field Test

As I was grocery shopping for BBQ fun for this weekend, I saw the display of watermelons well-placed in the aisle to entice a purchase. I started thumping the watermelons, out of habit at this point, then grabbed a thuuumpity sounding one. I looked at the nipple size and it looked small enough for me. Check and check.

Well, the watermelon turned out to not be fully riped, nor was it sweet. Nipple too big?

Yesterday, I had another round of shopping to do. This time at my local Costco. Watermelon was not on my shopping list but again, the display of watermelon after watermelon caught my attention. I am an example of the perfect marketing prey candidate.

This time, I decided to pick out a watermelon based solely on nipple size.

Big nipples, small nipples, dark ones, nipples with creamy complexion…so many nipples!

Here was my watermelon pick. A small nipple with some creamy areola surrounding the perkiness. A birthmark blemish to give it some ooomphh.

As I was walking away, I spotted this bad boy. Or should I say bad girl? I’ve never seen nipples this small! We’re still talking about watermelons here. I didn’t need a third watermelon, but had to know if the small nipples are indeed sweet and delicious.

So on to the cart both watermelons went.

Side by side shot of the two watermelons. The small watermelon on the left is the small nipple contestant. Seeing both side by side, I would say an “A” cup vs. a “C” cup size.

Which bad girl came out the winner?

"C" cup?

"A" cup?

^{Had to find room in the fridge for all these bad girls!}

Winner....drumroll

“A” cup all the way!! The small nipple indeed resulted in a sweet and mouth-watering watermelon. Just the right amount of ~~fullness~~ ripeness and delicious tender morsels. The underdog takes the win this round.

I will be sure to say a prayer tonight for my wonderful supermarket friend.

May he experience many beautiful nipples in his life and all result in sweet and sated happy endings.

Not quite the nipple story you were expecting? 😉

Thank you for stopping by! Have a BEE-ATIFIC day!