Hey everyone, Kevin the Mountain Goat here.
You might remember me from when 
Hive account@brandt introduced me on #mountaingoatmonday. I’ve kinda been keeping to myself since then so that’s probably why you haven’t seen much of me. I guess I’m really just more of a mountain goat than a socialite goat, lol. btw that thing about me falling off a cliff isn’t true. I also hate vegan restaurants, and vegans too. Although I do very much enjoy eating vegans, because hey, I'm a goat and I'll eat anything, lol. So anyway, Hive account@brandt recently told me about the 
Hive account@comedyopenmic Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest and I thought I’d try my hoof at it. To be honest I’m not that funny. I do try to be funny on occasion but my jokes just never land. People tend to not laugh at any of my jokes but they seem fine with laughing at all of my misfortunes. For instance the other day I lost my footing on some loose talus whilst wandering around the side of Missouri Mountain and I fell down about 300 feet. Fortunately it wasn’t a steep enough fall to kill me, it was more of an uncontrolled slide really, but still a good solid 300 feet of rapid and life-threatening descent nonetheless.
Step #1: Locate a Bridge
All of the other mountain goats laughed at me and that kinda killed my pride, you know?
Step #2: Set That Bridge on Fire
So I climbed back up to where I lost my footing, right back up to where all of the other mountain goats were,
Step #3: Repeat Steps 1 and 2
and then I killed every single one of them, because fuck those goddamn mountain goats for laughing at me like that. The end. For the next Hive account@comedyopenmic Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest, I nominate 
Hive account@rkphoto who is unresponsive here on Steemit and quite possibly dead, and I also nominate 
Hive account@ned because it rhymes with dead and I think that’s funny.
Bonus Question About Burning Bridges!
Should I drink the beer I just bought and pour the Drano down the drain,
or should I drink the Drano I just bought and pour the beer down the drain?
It's hard to say!
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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a writer but I don’t know why. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, mountain goats, Kevin the Mountain Goat, snow, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!
