"Are you really a clone?" That's the same question I've been getting from every corner of the world.
That damn comedian had the nerve to add salt to injury by stating on TV that it was the CIA that did it.
Well first of all, I'd never consult the CIA for such an operation, we're talking about guys who couldn't rig an ordinary election in America, how am I suppose to trust them with my life? We've been rigging elections here for many years and even gave the last loser a Nobel prize as consolation in 2015. We don't need you.
The second issue is, why will I use a Sudanese Jubril, there's many of my cousins that look exactly I could use.
The third part is the fake photo of me using my left hand in some photos, well that's totally bogus.
Finally, could you guys please stop asking my wife for her nudes? Its been getting to her head and she's been "flaunting" her stuff. Its kind of disgusting, to be very honest. I don't deserve this.