Come to the dark side
We have free advice here!
The following post has dark, brutal humour, if you can’t take it, ask your local physician for advice.
One of the biggest trials of depression (other than the sad stuff) is the constant source of even more depressing things everyone tries to do to get you out of it (as if it’s an ill-fitting dress).
Snap out of it! they said
I clicked my heels et voila people are still full of crap.
Here is a list of amazingly stupid, cliched and 100 % wrong advice for dealing with depressed people.
Wrong advice number 1-No Jenny, I don’t need a new hobby. Let me wallow in my pointless existence. I have depression, not chicken pox, it doesn't go away on its own if I suddenly discover my love for knitting. I’m more likely to stick those needles somewhere else
Wrong advice number 2-Listen to some soothing music. No. I want to sit and brood. Nothing matters. How do I explain that I just do not want to move, think or be…
Go away friend, but stay nearby. So, I don’t do anything stupid. Like buying a pink dress.
Wrong advice number 3-The Comparison- Look at that unfortunate person, your life is better than them.
No it isn’t .
Buys rope and a chocolate bar. Can’t find place to hang rope(typical).
Chocolate bar turns out to be a gluten free chia raisin bar.
Friend asks if I’m going hiking with the rope, Oh! it’ll be good for you to get (see wrong advice number 1)...
Leaves friend bound and gagged in my basement.
Whoa actually feels better.
Wrong advice number 4- Let’s get sloshed
We go on a mega binge, I start crying and puking. I lose my phone and have a splitting headache the next morning.
While drunk, I had called my ex from my mom’s phone and sang hotline bling.
His girlfriend yells at me, my head has now become a nuclear war zone.
Wrong advice number 5- Tough Love- Stop being lazy, you are not depressed! It’s just a phase.
Look what you’re doing to everyone.
This is the worst you can do to a depressed person. It's like rubbing pop rocks on wounds.
is an idiot who wants to try it
*Disclaimer: I love er tolerate my friends, even though I have threatened to take them to boy band concerts.
This post for all those misguided friends who try to switch off your depression. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. Just stare into the distance like your friend. Also, bring lots of junk food.*
The first step to understanding this mysterious illness is that YOU CAN’T CONTROL IT!
The hormones in our bodies don’t know how to enjoy a see-saw. So they imbalance. There is darkness everywhere, like when you forget to pay your electricity bill (I’ll be right back).
Laughter is a choice, if you laugh the catecholamines are copacetic, so no depression.
I choose to laugh and FTITCTAJ(Fu*k them if they can’t take a joke)
- PS: Contrary to what you might think, the cartoons were not made by a toddler who has had too much cough syrup.Yours truly has found her calling and is going to be a cartoonist.