its been a little over 24 long hours and I haven't been able to do anything on the steem blockchain. Whenever my internet fucks up, I often spend a lot of time trying to get laid. It is with a great sense of accomplishment and pride that I'll like to announce that I finally got laid...and it was an actual human being this time around.
It all started yesterday, what seemed like a very normal day in my life turned out to be an adventure I'll probably.live with for the rest of my life. Like all good stories and inventions in history, my story starts with a little bit(actually a lot) of cheap herb gin(look up action bitters).
Certain substances have been known to conjure up a placebo effect on humans; sterile water for example is injected into some suckers and for some.reason, it cures certain ailments, shrinks earn a living by talking shit and drinks like action bitters have been known to be both afrodisiacs and sexual enhancement drugs. I'm one of those people.
I've been consuming industrial quantities of the substance lately and honestly speaking, its been working. Right before I beat my meat off to dreamland, I take a sip or fifty and my member ends up hard as a rock. Two full sessions of self fellatio slowly guides me to sleep. It not something I'm proud of but everybody has theirs and no ones judging(well except the actual judges of the contest).
Yesterday evening was my lucky day you see and if not for the Hard Forking upgrade that kept me away from steemit, I probably wouldn't have ended up with the hard fucking evening. It was anything but beautiful and so was the 3/10 I ended the evening with. So thanx Steemit, thank you for upgrading the platform. I'd also like to nominate 
