Photo by Michael Podger, Unsplash
Today, I sat in front of my computer fiddling with the keyboard, pretending I was putting time to good use, Half frustrated that the words weren't just flowing as much as I'd love it to, and half frustrated that my battery was heading down the last grid at an unamusing speed, and there was no hope of recharging, not yet. I happened to spot a spider just outside my window. It has got a hapless fly suspended in its web, wiggling to get free with all the strength it could muster. Poor thing, maybe I should help, but the flailing of insect limbs as it is turned around intrigues me. It brings to mind a rotisserie with a brown chicken corpse in the spit. It reminds me of how disarranged I could be. So I leaned closer with keen interest!
The spider is deft, obviously; the fly is almost fully covered. But then by a stroke of luck, gravity, something, the web gives way and the fly falls. I gasped in horror. The seconds pass, and then the Fly - who isn't so much a fly at the moment, probably still in shock - is limping across my window. Limping, miraculously free of the killer silk!
The spider is still in its web, stationary, unmoved. Can't it see its quarry? I thought. that lucky bastard's getting away and it's just gonna let it walk? It should see it, with all those eyes spiders are said to have, I figured it should.
Well, get it you moron. One quick swoop and lunch is recaptured. It must have felt like we were a team, Spidey and I. Surely this was a game we couldn't lose. You nasty sport-loving predator, you probably want to do it in style don't ya. Like, the classic last-minute Van Damme kick in Slow mo'! I wasn't gonna be let down. I would bet the world on this one. Better yet, I would bet my world - Pringles!
But it didn't move. Was it tired? unmotivated? on a phone call with a nagging lover who couldn't wait? Has it got an option B?. The fly gets to the edge of the window and pauses, Perhaps to give the spider a last look of terror. Perhaps to commit to memory the nuances of the death web for the future. Perhaps it exhaled in insect-expression. This bastard's gonna be a legend in 'Insect-o-mania'.
And then, it disappeared.
I took a good look at the spider. It was still stationary. The nerves! you moron! I hissed and grabbed my broom! Wimp!
I nominate 
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