Does this outrageous example of inequality between the sexes recreationally outrage YOU as much as it has me?
Just how many ways do the emoji makers think they can get away with demonstrating their clear disdain for one gender in favor of the other?!?
And expressing their blatant sexism through fictional MER-PEOPLE,
those filthy bastards!
Like it's not bad enough in the real world...
Hey! Why not extend that disgusting chauvinism into imaginary land!
Real women don't have it bad enough...
Let's stick it to 'em some more!
We'll come up with some shitty drawings, ones that could have been laboriously sketched by Trump having a seizure in between tweets about CNN, to add a little extra SHINE to this unfortunate reality turd...
If your body isn't getting rocked with nausea and disgust over this blatantly sexist propaganda, let's break down how you've been hypnotized into acquiescence by those filthy, sexist animals who call the emoji factory their home:
Let's examine the outrageous differences that didn't need to be there, but someone, somewhere, thought it would be a good idea to pretend that in mer-people society we've turned back the calendar a hundred years:
1) The Belly Buttons!
Come on!
The male belly button is small and cute, you won't even find it unless you're looking for it.
The female belly button is the size of a small apartment building. It looks like her belly button was designed by evolution to provide a bullseye 🎯 , conveniently located in her center mass, for a helpful 'ease of execution' by underwater snipers hunting imaginary sea creatures.
Either that, or the drawerers compensated for the sea shells by giving her one great, big, surrogate nipple on the front of her body to 'balance' out the equation.
Objectification of Women!
Via her BELLY BUTTON!
Inexcusable.
WHY should the belly buttons be different?!? Society has reached a new low...
I'm so recreationally outraged I'm getting all sweaty again.
Moving down the list of filthy smut:
2) THEIR JEWELRY!
Mermaid 🧜♀️ has a pretty necklace.
That's nice.
Merman gets:
2 pretty pieces of jewelry?!?
(They aren't bracelets, and they're not necklaces. They're something literally in between).
Wouldn't ONE have been enough?
Oh, no, gotta one-up the LADY and give the fella TWO. ((😔))
The LAST, and most stomach-churning example of gender inequality I have ever witnessed in my ENTIRE LIFE, is the exact same thing I know is on all of your minds as well:
That sweet, innocent, beautiful mermaid is being attacked by a starfish
EATING HER HEAD!
Meanwhile, merMAN over here ain't letting nothing unsettle HIS swagger...
And why should he be worried?
HE SHITS TRIDENTS!
There's the poor mer-chick, getting the blood drained from her face by some creepy bottom-dwelling monster with five arms, and she's all reaching behind her, desperately trying to crap out a can of mace, a rape whistle, or a roll of quarters (let's hope she doesn't find a gun -- that would NOT end well for her)...
SIGH
Inequality is everywhere folks, and it's up to us, to STAND UP against the creeping doom of oppression. Concessions of any kind will take us back to biblical times...
When women weren't allowed to drive.
As we say in Canada 🇨🇦:
"If you give them an inch,
they will take a kilometer."
✊
I nominate 
