A Light Hearted Review of the Vintage Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars
Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars is a well known classic of the super hero genre. Published over the course of 12 issues in 1984 and 1985, the series featured a large cast of Marvel's characters duking it out on the aptly named "Battleworld" in a contest of might. It was written by Jim Shooter with art by classic industry veterans Mike Zeck and Bob Layton. The motivation and premise for the series was developed in cooperation with the Mattel toy company, who wanted to launch a line of Marvel toys, but only with an accompanying comic series in place to help drive sales.
Writer Jim Shooter, who was also the editor in chief of Marvel at the time provided some insight to the series development in an interview.
We went through a number of ideas for names for the toy line and series. Mattel's focus group tests indicated that kids reacted positively to the words 'wars' and 'secret'. Okay.
Mattel had a number of other requirements. Doctor Doom, they said, looked too medieval. His armor would have to be made more high-tech. So would Iron Man’s, because their focus groups indicated that kids reacted positively...etc. Okay.
They also said there had to be new fortresses, vehicles and weapons because they wanted playsets, higher price point merchandise and additional play value. Okay.
When time came to actually do it, I realized that only I could write it.
Focus groups and marketing imperatives don't sound like a solid foundation for a great story. Did they doom Secret Wars from the start? Read on to find out fellow Explorers!
Many still hail Secret Wars as a comic book classic and have fond memories. The series spawned multiple sequels and had implications for the Marvel Universe that have continued to this day. However, just like going back and watching cartoons from our childhood years, some things may best be left as fond memories...
I actually had never before read Secret Wars. It was definitely a gap in my comics scholarship which I decided to rectify during a sick day. Don't worry, I re-read and studied the tale a bit more, so my review is not biased by a nausea and sweat induced filter of that day! Likewise though, you may see that I don't have the positive bias of re-reading a series I experienced as a child. The series clocks in at 322 pages of story and will take a bit of time to plow through, but it's an easy read.
The Setup
An assemblage of some of Earth's greatest heroes and villains are brought to a strange newly created "Battleworld" by an entity of almost limitless power known as the Beyonder. The two factions are set against each other with the goal of vanquishing their foes to claim the Beyonder's prize... a granting of all their wishes.
There are not merely two sides to this struggle, as the villains begin infighting and vying for control almost immediately. The heroes are certainly not immune as a schism develops between the Avengers/Fantastic Four and the mutant X-Men who are not readily accepted and trusted.
Despite the heavy handed plotline designed to sell toys, there's potential for some great character moments and a sweeping epic. However when Jim Shooter realized that only he could write this tale... he may have come to the wrong realization.
I'm not overly critical, and this comic was possibly great fun for the kids enjoying the toys, but it definitely doesn't hold up well! So let's take a trip together into the goofy world of this now vintage comics epic and have some fun with it.
The Dialog is Good for Laughs
You know how you can feel it when someone is trying a bit too hard to be "cool" and "hip?" Yeah. Secret Wars has that. I can't help but get a grin out of She Hulk slugging the Enchantress and declaring it to be "like tubular, you know -- to the max!"
And there is plenty of dialog to be had. The story is so contrived and at times makes so little logical sense, only blatant exposition of what characters are doing can barely hold it together.
- Little less talky Hulk, I think you could have dropped them in the time it took you to say that!
- The deranged villain Klaw notices how folks are narrating their every step! I'm sure Jim Shooter did too. Perhaps he put this in as a fun little nod and humble jab at the story.
Size Doesn't Matter
Ok, maybe it does. To a point. But bigger isn't always better. Secret Wars tries so hard to be grand and epic by taking everything up a notch in scale. i suppose you could describe it as "tubular to the max". There's nothing inherently wrong with a 451 story base the size of Chicago housing our dozen heroes, or a 200 mile high tower for Dr. Doom, or even the ship of Galactus, which is as big as an entire solar system.
But as our characters get around all these super structures with ease... on foot... it gets a bit absurd. And no matter how vast the structure, you can be sure that when someone blasts through the outer wall to gain entry, they always end up in exactly the right room.
Geography Doesn't Matter... Characters Do!
Of course! How could I get sidetracked on ranting about locations. Thanks for reminding me. The characters don't make a lot of sense either!
Magneto is happy to tell us how impressive his mutant powers are....
But I'm not sure if he's bluffing because not long ago he was breaking a sweat trying to make a comb for the Wasp. She was grateful for it though and she happily combed her hair. (shortly before taking a dump in the corner of the room as we're led to believe by more pointless exposition...)
The X-Men are a Definite Letdown.
Throughout the story they get their collective asses handed to them first by a solo Spider-Man and then by the Wasp. I'd have to put some blame on Cyclops. It seems the veteran leader is a little rusty in his strategizing. At one point he sets out to stop one of the villains missions at all costs. With the villainous foes beaten back, the threat eliminated, Cyclops deduces the goal they must have been after... and then does it for them. No explanation...
WTSW?!? My new curse... What the Secret Wars!?!
The Spiders Get Some Attention
The series is notable for two introductions. It first introduced the new Spider-Woman, and also heralded the arrival of Spider-Man's black costume, which would later be revealed as an alien symbiote that eventually becomes the ever popular character Venom.
So in a sense, the first action Venom ever took in the Marvel Universe was to web Johnny Storm in the face for fun! Take that to your next Marvel trivia night!
Was Secret Wars Doomed from the Start?
Being forced and contrived for the sake of toy sales is never a good start, but the standout of the series is actually Doom. Throughout the story he is the most intelligent, developed, and nuanced character of the whole lot.
I've said little about the art on Secret Wars as it's been largely overshadowed by writing concerns, and while it is adequate, the art would be aptly described as serviceable, not amazing. Zeck and Layton are great storytellers but have trouble making sense of the action they're presented to render and were probably working overtime to hit an additional deadline as well. Secret Wars is not the quality of work these greats are known for. Their work shines the most on covers where more time was clearly lavished, such as this classic image of our "hero" Dr. Doom.
Overall, Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars is deserving of a read due to it's place in comics history, and it can be good natured fun in the way that watching a bad movie is. The series greatest storytelling probably occurred as it was spread out on the bedroom floors of a lot of children helping to inform and bring to life the play and imagination of it's accompanying toys. For the joy it's brought, it still deserves respect despite the good natured ribbing I've delivered here.
I'll give Secret Wars an extra star just for Johnny Storms Culture Club reference!
Wait, did Iron Man just call Captain Marvel "talent?" And he thought Torch had no class? Ok, I take the star back...
