Today I am going to write about the blessings that so many are often quick to overlook, while focusing on the negatives that surround them. I am going to use myself as the context, showing the turmoil my life had been under over the last year. Partially as I feel a small weight has been lifted from my shoulders, also to explain why my posts will be a little more erratic in the coming weeks. I am hoping that as I explain the shit show that has intruded in my life that it will become clear why an approach of abundance is the best one to take.
So last year in July I was able to talk my other half into moving back across the country to Tucson with me. My life was coasting pretty good, I was making around 1800.00 a month in residual income from self publishing, her skills as a hairdresser enable her to work anywhere and I could go back to buying at auction and reselling (which I wrote posts on when I first came to Steemit). Life is much cheaper there in Tucson and I saw an opportunity for us to really move ahead in life. So I went first, driving. Setting up the apartment, I financed around 4500.00 in furniture for our new place. I already had a lot of debt, but I wanted to make this move nice for us. So everything at this point is looking really blessed.
She flew in, got her job quickly and off we went. Then the first obstacle hit. Most of my residuals came from Barnes and Noble, from erotica under various pen names. They for whatever reason decided to clean house, and banned all erotica accounts, mistakenly even hitting many romance writers. The emails language strong as it warned if we ever tried to publish on their platform again that they would keep all royalties from those sales. Slowly, they realized the extent of their error, and began allowing some authors back on months later. But I decided against trying to get back on their store, as the language of that email leaves me thinking at some point they will end up keeping the royalties of those who went back, as promised in those emails. That one move right there erased about 1100.00 a month from my income, that was already slowly decreasing due to my burnout from writing and walking away from that churn.
About one month later, my other half received devastating news. News that required she leave Tucson and move back to the other side of the country. A family emergence that would forever change her entire families lives. I understood she had no choice, and supported her need to do so. We were not in a position financially for me to join her, as we still had most of our year lease left in Tucson. So I was forced to stay behind as she came back here to face the dark road facing her ( I can't mention what it is as it is not my place to discuss the dark road she found herself on). We Skyped daily, as the days slowly ticked by. Finally, after a long ten months that were hard economically on us, I was able to sell off most everything I owned, including the furniture I am still paying on and will be for the next two years. Sold my Truck that I knew would not make the almost 3000 mile drive back and took a bus to get home to where she waited. I wrote about the bus ride and its own brand of yuck already, so wont rehash any of that.
We had the apartment set up, so we moved in quickly. I went and financed another 2500.00 in furniture, and began looking for a job. It took me a few weeks, but finally landed one as a night auditor for a hotel in the next city over. Phew, life could start moving forward. Or so I thought. In my second week of training, her car died on the way home. I had it towed to a garage, and after 5 days of looking into it, they found that before they could figure out what was wrong the whole wiring harness needed replaced. Would be around 2000.00 with a 3 week wait for the harness from Germany. Then they could figure out what the cause was, and if any or all of the modules were fried. Might be 5-7k to fix. Well, I was down to my last 1500 in credit as i am maxed everywhere after years of poor decisions and setbacks. Fixing the car was out of the question, so it was scrapped. As well as my new job I no longer had a viable way to get to.
In the midst of this turmoil, I did something I am not prone to doing. I am very meticulous about my finances. Always paying early. But in the midst of all of this, I forgot about my last electric bill in Tucson. Imagine my surprise last week when I got the letter from the collection agency demanding payment for it, as well as the 17.00 they are tacking on. I called the electric company to see about firing the collection agency and just paying them. I mean, I had years and years of service with them, was never late before this, was always early. They were very cold when they told me no, the debt had been sold. She informed me an attempt had been made to notify me through the mail. I asked, let me guess, to the address that I had service disconnected. Yes, to that address she said. I sighed as she asked if there was anything else she could help me with. Sighed that they couldn't have sent me an email as they did all my receipts for paying over the phone. Or called my number that has been the same for years.
So I began applying to all kinds of jobs I normally would never apply to. Jobs that were close by, jobs that I could walk to. And yesterday I got the job. It will be physical labor, low pay. And...
It came just in time. At worst I will have to make some calls this week to explain that I might miss a few due dates by a week or so. What a blessing.
Through all of this I have forced myself to have an abundance mentality. Focusing on the ideas I have learned more of here at Steemit. Ideas of participating in a gift economy, giving and not worrying over fears from lacking what I think I need. Over fears that what I have to give are to small.
There is so much abundance around not just myself, but all of us. Waiting for us to let go of our fear and act with belief. I can assure everyone reading this, I am proof that one can walk through turmoil and refuse to allow it to dictate bad thoughts. That there is always a manifestation waiting to be a blessing if you watch for it, work towards it knowing it will come. There are so many of you here on this platform who have been an inspiration to me as I have fought internally over the thoughts that would betray me into despair. I thank you for being leaders.
One of the few things I have had to hang onto over the last half year has been studying the interactions here on this site. Sifting through many people as I uncovered many gems, many who understand abundance despite their own trials. Who understand the blessings involved when one can see past their own momentary struggle and see a larger picture. A picture that allows you to be of service to another. Your examples and opportunities presented to me here to emulate what I watch you do has been therapeutic.
I give thanks for
Those close to me that I love.
The food that has been provided to me that many in the world would think a luxury.
A job with which to take care of myself, and my love, with extra that will be left over to better practice gifting as I extricate myself from the bondage of debt.
So many of my friends here who inspire me to be a better man.
- Thankful that the abundance to acquire is one now where I will have to find a routine that will allow me to earn from the job as I juggle learning more about myself and the blessings possible in this gift economy made possible by the Steem blockchain. So many more blessings that would fill books.
I hope all of you can take a breath if you find yourself in a trying moment, and look around you for the miracles that are all around you. They will see you through your rockiest points if you let them. That's all I got on this, thanks for reading this if I still have your attention. I know it was a bit of a meandering post. To many blessings, no words strong enough to capture the thanks.