It’s all beautiful, everything is so clean and ordered, people live in abundance – but they don’t smile – a Sri Lankan friend of mine said that having come back from Europe. Traveling to Europe, home of unlimited possibilities and happiness, is everybody’s dream, but he was one of the few privileged for whom it came true. In the last two decades the country has been mesmerized by the developed world.
On a sunny Saturday morning I run out to the little corner shop that is always – especially at weekends – a social gathering place; people from the vicinity come here to meet, to kill time that they have plenty of. Now there are at least 8-10 people in the shadow of the little shack, gossiping, laughing. To my appearance one of them asks aloud her few-month-old granddaughter, sitting on her arms.
"Will you go to Europe with the “Suddu Anti” (white aunt)? There it is “shook” – summarizing life in the developed world in one word, meaning cool, awesome, great; everything is perfect, people are always happy and they can have whatever they want.
She is not entirely serious, she doesn’t really want to give me her grandchild – nor did the other hundreds of women who played with the idea of leaving their child in my care, ensuring her or him a happy and safe life. The picture in them excluded the idea that bringing a child up could be any trouble for a European.
However, as times goes by and I am still there, I am posed the question more and more often: We are good, aren’t we? Sri Lanka is good, isn’t it? – and they glow with pride expecting my appreciation. Deep down they are absolutely convinced, that they lead the rightful life, and are horrified at our many “licentious” ways. The overwhelming majority of people follow the same rules and live according the same, God and family based values.
Living life with a pure conscience is not that difficult, there are just a few simple rules to follow: respect the Buddha (who is considered to be God by most people), the other Gods and spirits and the church. Beside that: family first. That excludes all the bad habits: drinking, smoking and going out with friends. If you avoid doing these – or don’t do them too often – everybody considers you a very good person.
Having common values form strong bonds and make them all feel connected. Even strangers often exchange friendly words on the streets, calling each other brother, sister, mother and so on according to their ages. They are ready in an instant to smile, and they are always there to help anybody who is in need. The base of human relations is still the same as it has always been: trust and a sense of belonging together.
Then I got back to Hungary. At the first night just as I turned to an avenue I heard a man crying out: Enough! I can’t take any more! – He cried out, burying his face in his hands. Suddenly, all the pests and troubles of our lives fell on me with thousands of pounds. The consequences – resentment and malevolence – of having human relations based on competition.
No matter how hard the ideologists of our culture try to make us believe that fight and greed are basic human nature. All traditional culture proves otherwise, and deep inside we all know, that we can only thrive and be healthy in an accepting, supporting, even loving environment.
Ever since, whenever I arrive at Sri Lanka, my first impression is this relief. I feel all the heavy burdens fall off and I smile easily back to a smiling country.
That natural easiness and these values penetrates the Serendib jewels, radiating new colors, qualities, beauty and so a new kind of harmony to their wearers – as a present from Sri Lanka to the “developed” world.
