4 PRINCIPLES OF RESPONSIBLE WOOING
Funny but this is for our uncles who do not know how to woo a lady. Some brothers think it is just to go and collect a sister's phone number and start disturbing somebody's daughter everyday on WhatsApp with "hello, how are you? Have you eaten? If so glory be to God." I hope you're not planning to carry that bad character into 2018? Please read this carefully and gain some wooing sense.
#1- I Love You: we know that you love her, or you think you do, but no matter his strongly your emotions are doing you please don't be in a hurry to start confessing i love you to a lady you just met. Give her some time to get to like you too, hold on to your feelings, hide it as best as you can, and wait for her to trust your intentions and get comfortable around you. Let I love you be the last thing you confess to her, don't go and be chocking somebody's daughter with I love you because you have seen fine shape. Learn to relax uncle, the love is not running away, or is it?
#2 - Calling Everyday: this is just a secret from one uncle to another; women do not like men that call them too much after giving out their number, they can get easily irritated by it. Every time "hello, I'm just calling to check up on you".
Two hours later - " hello, have you eaten?" , not like if she says no you will order her pizza from Dominos, your own is just to be asking unnecessary jamb questions like a village headmaster.
One hour later - "hi babe, have you closed from work?". Okay if she says she has closed from work are you going to send an Uber to take her home? When you'll some of our uncles start having sense.
Learn to take the communications slowly uncle, when you call too much too soon your conversations will begin to become predictable and boring, and when that happens she'll begin to feel irritated by your calls. And that's the point where a lady starts saving a brother's number with " unserious human being" , "lack of handwork", " cute but no sense", etc. When you put yourself in that wicked zone just forget about winning her heart, you have lost it. Please learn to plan your calls, once a day is good, send occasional text messages in between, say something new each time, and make her look forward to hearing from you. Once you have succeeded in getting her in this zone, just know that you have won the world cup.
#3 - come and meet my family:
This one has no sauce anymore, it used to be a perfect catch until area boys and the rich boys from Malaysia started using it to decieve our innocent sisters. So just forget it, our sisters now know that even if you invite her to meet your ancestors nothing nothing, you will still do your mind. So no need, go and meet your family by yourself and leave that innocent sister alone. It is no longer news that the easiest way to get between her legs is to give her your mother's phone number to feel like a daughter in-law, that evil behaviour must end this year.
#4 - Pet Names:
Sweet pet names like sugar, baby, butter, princess, morning fresh, and indomie are not allowed when trying to woo a lady. Not all women are comfortable with that, especially when they just met you. That is too much familiarity uncle, learn to always take things slow. Call her by her name.
Her name is Elizabeth, not Elibaby.
It is Chioma, not Chiboo.
It is Keffi, not KFC.
It is Hannah, not Hannah banana.
Don't try to be flexible with the friendship when you haven't won her trust.
I hope you have heard? If you like go and be behaving anyhow in 2018.
#confessionsofagoodman