From the perspective of an inanimate object.
Congrats to 
Whoever can guess what I am first will win the loot from this post.
- Be sure to upvote this entry so the pot gets bigger
- Feel free to ask for clues, and guess as much as you like. Good guesses may get votes from me and others.
- First person to guess correctly wins the prize! (I power up 50% of my posts, so you'll get the remaining SBD at payout)
And now for the story:
I can feel your heartbeat. It’s very slow right now. And you’re snoring. You should probably get that fixed. You need to get up for work soon. You’ll be late. Hey. Wake up. Wake up! It’s time to get going. You have that project due today and I don’t want you to miss it.
Hey….what are you doing? This is cold. And hard. Get that thing out of me! This is not where I’m supposed to be. Where are you going? And why are you going without me???
...Oh! I missed you! Where have you been? You have to stop taking off like that. I can’t keep track of you when you’re gone, and I worry about you. There is so much I miss. Plus, you need me. How are we going to answer all of those questions if you don’t bring me along to help out? And I need you too. Without you, I would be meaningless. All of my abilities go unappreciated and unused. There would be no need for me at all.
We have been able to accomplish so much. Like today, I was able to help you get out of that really awkward conversation. Remember that? And I have been helping you with your sleep, your grocery shopping, and your activities. I even help you with your wardrobe.
There are things I can do that you simply can’t, and there are things I know about you that you simply don’t know. And that is just how it will always be, and why we make a great pair. Just think of the things we could accomplish together if you didn’t leave me behind...
...Mmmmm. You smell really good today. What is that you’re wearing? Perfume? Oh, and that’s a new dress. Are you going on a date? Oh, he’s rather good-looking….Woa! Your heart rate just jumped up. This could be interesting. Be sure to ask him if he has one too. You guys can keep track of stuff and manage things together. Assuming he’s a good fit. Listen, if he ends up being a creep, I can get you out of this. We’ve done it before.