“I needed to call you, I think I am having a… mental breakdown over here, so I just want to listen to the sound of your voice for a while.”
“What is the matter honey? Are you feeling alright?”
“If I told you what happen, you are bound to be mad at me.”
“Come on, why do you say that?”
“Because… this whole issue is something that could upset you, and I don't want that.”
“You really think I could get mad at you for something?”
“To be honest, yes, yes I think you could.”
“Well I won't so… you can tell me.”
“Why I have to tell you? We cannot… just talk like we usually do?”
“Because there is something bothering you, and as your girlfriend I want to help you”
“I don't know”
“I pinky swear that I will not get mad at you for anything you will tell me right now”
“A pinky swear? Wow that is a major level promise hahaha.”
“Now you see I am serious about it, now go ahead and tell me”
“Okay, okay, I saw her today”
“Who do you saw?”
“My ex-girlfriend”
“Oh”
“Yeah, well it not was good”
“Okay, go on”
“Okay, I was in the mall with the guys, we were looking for drinks for tonight party, but the liquor store was closed so, we don't know what else to do, so we went to a dealer and buy him some weed.”
“Okay, okay stop for a second, you bought weed?”
“Well yeah, I am pretty high like a kite in this very second.”
“Oh… okay, well continue with your story.”
“So, the dealer had to go search the weed and that was going to take an hour or two, anyhow you know that in the mall there was this huge event and shit, so the guys and I were going to see what all the commotion was about, and who was the first person I see running from the exit past me?”
“Her?”
“Bingo!! You won a prize. Basically I hid from her at that moment, us meeting again was going to be pretty awkward.”
“But wait a sec. this was not that girlfriend that cast you out and stop talking to you?”
“Well, pretty much yeah.”
“I thought that you had forgotten her.”
“Well I did, but the thing that happen later what the thing that fuck me up right now, I had encountered an old friend of her and mine, so I talked to the guy, and he say to me that all the months that she not talked to me was that she was internalized.”
“Like in the bed of a hospital almost dying?”
“Yeah and when he told me that, well, I begin to suffer a major collapse right there, so as soon the weed was ready, we get here to the party, and we dig it, but all this give me a very ill sensation.”
“You sure that is not the weed?”
“Nah, the weed is the thing that is helping me right now. Without weed, I’ll be soaked in tears, well no, but it helps me a lot of right this moment.”
“I don't thing that is something you should do, you know.”
“What thing? The weed thing or the avoid my problems thing?”
“Both.”
“Well, let´s forget the weed for a moment, what do you think about it? You are mad at me?”
“I am not mad at you, really I am grateful that you told me all, but you should talk with her, besides she never reached out to you so, there was no way for you to know all that, and when she recovered she never called you back, there is no reason for you to feel bad.”
“I thought the same thing.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why do you feel so bad?”
“Because, the reasonable part of my joyful and chaotic being told me: “it’s not your fault, you could not know that” but at the same thing the other part of me, the part that is extremely guilty and that hate my own guts cries out right to my ear: “You fucking piece of shit, you could have done so much than be there having pity of yourself” besides you know me and me fucking depression, it eats right through my other feelings.”
“You think that she will be mad at you?”
“She was a person that I claimed to adore and love, but at the end I let her down not matter how you see it. I think that she is pretty piss at me. Wouldn’t you?”
“…”
“Hello?”
“Maybe only a little bit, but I would have call you.”
“Ha… Ha… Ha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“I had never imagined I would have this conversation with you.”
“Hey!”
“What?”
“Don't be so hard on yourself the rest of the night.”
“I promise you I will try.”
“Pinky sweared.”
“I pinky swear I will not be so hard on myself.”
“Then is all set. I am assuming that you will go tomorrow at church with me.”
“Well I am pretty high right now, and I am assuming that tomorrow as well, besides that is not some kind of sacrilege of something like that. Probably as soon as I enter I will be embodied in the flames of all my sins.”
“Maybe but I want to be with you.”
“The things I do for love.”
“You always say that when you had to come.”
“Because I always come out for love, HAHAHA pun intended. You know, I promise you I will do it better with you, you make me want to be a better person, a person that deserves you.”
“You are a good person.”
“Maybe, maybe. I have to hang on now.”
“It's okay”
“Okay.”
“HEY!”
“What?! What?!”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, I will see you tomorrow.”
“I know, I can't wait”
“Bye honey.”