Hello everyone,
In a neighborhood somewhere in the southern part of Nigeria, Grace and Daniel are two lovers envied by everybody in the neighborhood. Often times when Damien offended Daniella, she would yell at him, hurl abusive words at him and even once slapped him and after a while she’ll come begging that she’s sorry for allowing her emotions take control over her. Now she’s at the verge of losing him because she’s done this same thing to him both in public and even in his family house. She knows Damien is a husband material (don’t ask me how many yards) and can’t afford to lose him yet her expression is giving him a wrong impression of who she is.
Damien ends the relationship after 3 months. Daniella has never been lucky in any of her relationships. She keeps falling a victim of heartbreak. There is something she doesn’t possess that’s why all her relationships never lasted. What are those qualities she lacked?
Good communication skills and patience.
You can never be 100% complete in your character (or attitude) but I’ll recommend that whoever you’ll date must have at least some traceable good character (not less than 70% if possible) Let’s look at:
BASIC REQUIREMENTS FOR RELATIONSHIPS
- Good Communication- I know a lot of people think CONSTANT COMMUNICATION is same as GOOD COMMUNICATION. But sorry, they’re not. It is good to keep constant and (at least consistent) communication with your spouse (part of what ladies see as being caring). Here, I’m referring to how you speak to your spouse. I mean, YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS. When you’re in a public place and he/ she does something really embarrassing or gets you really pissed off, what kind of words do you spew out from your mouth? That’s the kind of communication I’m referring. Some people do not know how to talk to their spouse. How possible is it that the same mouth you use to say “I love you, you’re the best, you’re my world, etc” or the mouth you use to peck or kiss your partner is the same mouth that you use to vomit negative words and rain curses or abuses on your partner all in the name of “I WAS ANGRY, YOU NEEDED TO SEE WHAT HE/ SHE DID TO ME?” Brother, sister, aunty, uncle, husband, wife, I know you were angry but there are ways to communicate. Scriptures say that “Soft words turn away anger but harsh words stir it up”.
To learn how to communicate effectively and give positive criticisms, don’t talk about what you don’t like just immediately. Leave that scene or give it some few minutes before expressing yourself because SELF EXPRESSION IS PUBLIC IMPRESSION (Oliver, 2018).
A lot of times, text messages have caused so many serious misunderstandings that led to some breakup. The way we write a particular text message might be different from how your partner interpretes it. That’s why I often advice that sometimes, phone call is a better way to express yourself other than texting.
For example,
Mr. A tells his spouse “you’re looking bad, or ugly, or that dress makes you look terrible”
Mr. B says to his spouse, “dear, this dress looks good on you but I think you’ll look better if you add this or remove that or change the dress and put this on”
Both of them have communicated but I bet Mr. A’s lady will feel bad and terrible while Mr. B’s will feel loved for that constructive correction.
Even though both of them wanted their lady to look better or change her outfit, one had a BAD COMMUNICATION than the other; might feel GOOD because he communicated in a well constructive manner.
Learn to use the positive side of words not negative. E.g. Instead of saying I HATE this or that, say I DON’T LIKE this or that. You don’t have to yell, scream, abuse, insult or rain curses to make a point, you could make your point without necessarily shouting. Your tone and facial expression are enough to pass your message across!
Finally, good communication skills is what EVERY man must learn because women are moved by what they hear.
Therefore, ensure that your words are soft, good and encouraging even though you’re not in a good mood. WOMEN GENERALLY, COULD BE ANNOYING SOMETIMES (My apologies please). As a lady too, talk to your man in a way he will understand and the words must be soft.
Thank you so much for reading
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