Your post earned a follow from me.
One thing I recently heard someone point out, is that another definition for the word suffering is consent. This doesn't mean that if someone commits a violation against you that you've consented to that action. But you do consent to the pain you put yourself through afterwards - which often is a unavoidably necessary process. You consent to the trauma because your unconscious knows that you need to process it. The key, I think, is knowing when to say "I no longer suffer/consent to this pain." Finding the needed closure for this is a very difficult thing for a lot of people, but doing so can help arm you against any further trespasses by others.