So, the time has come...the time some of you may have been looking forward to. Me? Not so much. Because it means I have to pay out money. That's right, it's time to announce the winners to my Shitty Comment Contest.
No doubt some of you are asking yourselves, "Shitty Comment Contest? What?" Well, I decided to do a shitty comment contest, and you missed out. Sucks to be you. You could have won 5 steem for saying some stupid shit like "nice post. I follow you follow?" But you didn't. Someone else will. Who, you might ask? I have no fucking clue. Do you have any idea how hard it is to judge the shittiest comment on a post? Fuck man.
You may click here to go to the original contest post.
First, some honorable mentions.
for the shitty facts!
Hey dude, here's your daily shitty facts:
Scientists were monitoring whale stress levels by analyzing their poop and found that their stress plummeted immediately following the 9/11 attacks. It turns out this was due to all air traffic being halted, which calmed the oceans of low frequency noise which whales use to communicate
George Clooney once cleaned his roommate’s cat’s litter box for four days, then sh*t in it himself, causing the roommate to think it was from his constipated cat.
The 3.6 million year old Laetoli footprints, one of the most important finds concerning human evolution and evidence of upright bipedal walking, was discovered by Paleoanthropologist Andrew Hill when he dove into the ground in the middle of an elephant dung fight with his colleague.
In the early years of the 20th century, horses were causing so much pollution with their poop that automobiles were seen as the “green” alternative.
Source http://www.kickassfacts.com/25-weird-facts-about-poop/For more daily facts about poop: http://www.lmfgtfy.com/?q=poop+facts
Cheers!
I'm afraid I had to disqualify
He had a clever idea (already a bad sign for this contest) to do a comment about shit in a shitty comment contest, and he did the research to bring about a set of facts, and created an intesting comment. Disqualified.
for his like upvote and ask for an upvote submission!
Like this bro. I Upvoted and commented. Upvote me too. Brother from another mother. Lol
The whole "Brother from another mother." was a nice touch. It was seriously weird. Unfortunately, I feel as if it was too original. Was it a shitty comment? Yes. But it likely was not the shittiest.
for the starving desert family with a macbook air comment!
HEllo mr can u help? i need for monie for my family in the desert. we r 18 people and we have nothing. we live in desert with soemetimes no food and we have to wait sometims 4000 days when it rain to drink. all wehave is interet connectuin and macbook air. but now charger is brokn and it cannot work more. can u help pls?
He even upvoted his own submission! That is seriously shitty. I was seriously close to just giving him the prize.
Unfortunately, the "macbook air" touch was actually pretty funny, and likely serves as a commentary on those who make comments similar to this. As a result, it ended up being a spoof, and not a bad one. Disqualified. Not as shitty of a comment as he intended.
for the emote comment to a comment!
😂😂😂😂
That's right, comments to comments totally count. They can totally just be as shitty.
Emote comments are pretty standard, especially in texting, and they suck. Especially when you get a single emote after pouring your heart and soul into a heartfelt text. Thank you
for the educate well entry!
Lol....my try
I am like what you are post. I want Steem. I follow, you follow back. Your post educative well. Please halp me to get steem
This embodies the poor grammar and greed of so many comments.
for the faceflush entry!
Dude, can we be friends on faceflush, its full of real intelignt fuc&^%rs like you..
warm retartsP& S up -votd folowed bro. from the bushes ya sisters hot !
Seriously, fuck Facebook.
Unfortunately, I think it was a bit over the top, and actually served as a commentary on how shitty Facebook is. And would anyone really think it's full of intelligent people? I feel like this could have been a winner, but it just didn't stick the landing.
for the show bobs entry!
Nice, upvoted and followed, please do the same for me :) And show bobs
Unfortunately, the "show bobs" was actually hilarious.
for the share and help entry!
Hi Sir, I is really liked your post and shared it to all my many follower.
You can upvote me also and follow so I can teach you how to make more monies.
The balls on this one! Like they know some magic sauce. Yet they're asking for upvotes.
for his rude shit entry!
I took a picture of my turd just so I can see better content than this.
I won't even feel bad when this gets more votes than your post.
That's just fucking mean.
for his tea comment!
Sipping tea
What does that even fucking mean?
with his good post entry!
Good post would read again.
Why would you read it again? WTF!
with the ZCash entry!
ZCash costed 6 Bitcoins when it was newly introduced (Nov2016) (about 4k USD back then)
Why is he telling me this! Altogether different take on the usual shitty comments!
And the winner is!
Oh fuck...I still don't know.
There are some real contenders.
The finalists:
with the beautiful steem entry!
your post is beautiful. i need steem
Very shitty. And adding that he needs steem, as if to suggest you should send it. Very nice.
with the nice entry!
nice :-)
Simple. To the point. Fucking horrible! Very nice.
with the beautiful photo entry!
So beautiful photo!!
The photo I got from the internet? WTF! GTFOutta here! Wonderful entry!
with the good info entry!
Nice post, good information...
Utterly useless praise, how I love thee...NOT! Perfect entry!
with the great content and follow entry!
Wow! great content! Follow me
I wanna smack him just reading this! Wonderful entry!
with the me too entry!
me too thanks
You too what? Fucking amazing! Great entry!
with his actual real spam entry!
good post. thanks for sharing. upvote me
https://steemit.com/sevendaybnwchallenge/@gentleshaid/seven-day-black-and-white-challenge-day-5
That's a real link to a real post! Fucking great entry! I am seriously impressed by the shittyness!
with the follow for follow plz entry!
nice :-) follow 4 follow?
https://steemit.com/@thezonderprojectplz respond
It has a link and everything! And it's topped off with a "plz respond"! Very nice entry!
for the follow for follow entry!
i follw u n pvte nw u fllw me
I can't even fucking read it. That is seriously shitty. It's like he's almost channeling the words of a dead pathetic commenter. #sorrynotsorry
for the generic sayings entry!
You and I are spiritual brothers. Time heals all wounds. Good things come to people who wait. The refreshing radiance of solidarity will beautify tomorrow's inward gaze. You Sir, are a valiant specimen of goodness, sterling sample of power and without question an exotic hunk of intelligence.
Steem on, upvote, resteem, keep it up, never lose faith, you have only one life.
Love&Hugs
Like seriously, I almost have PTSD from this comment it brought up so many bad memories from people saying stupid shitty sayings. And it doesn't even make fucking sense! Fucking amazing entry!
for the informative to me entry!
Very nice post Informative to me. Upvote plsee fllow me too borther
Very shitty! And misspelling brother was a nice touch.
for the nice photo comment!
nice photo i have joined steemit support me and follow
We've all got them. You use a specific tag, and some botted account comes along and makes a comment telling you that you had a nice photo, or your art is amazing, or your meme is funny. Maybe it even fooled you, and you replied. He even had the balls to just ask them to follow. Why for? Did he contribute anything? Unfortunately I'm pretty sure I'm already following
So...
Who the fuck won?!?!
Fuck...this is a hard one...
I'm gonna have to actually give it to
Fuck guys! This was amazing! I would like to thank EVERYONE that entered. Who would have thought that a shitty comment contest would be so entertaining. I had fun. You might even say I got my money's worth.
Steem unfortunately is currently down in price. I will be sending it after I click post, but it's up to you if you want to sell it now, power it up, or wait.