Remembering the day when we were decided to be on our own. It was in the morning after we spent all night telling all the truth to each other, about our feelings, all this time. Yes, there is no love between us, even since the first day we were together.
You picked me up from my office and we had dinner. It has been a while we never met, I was studying abroad and had no contact with you at all. Your brother mustt be the one who gave you my number. I didn't mind, I thought I need to meet my old friends again.
It was the first time we went out, just you and me. I expected us to meet some other friends, but we didn't. I thought, you must have something important to tell. It never happened before, but I was fiine with it.
At first we were laughing and happy, but it became serious. We had a very serious conversation. You told me about your sadness and loneliness. I was too naif to understand all those lies. I felt sorry for you and tried to be your angel. I cheered you up, teased you.
Suddenly, you hold my hands and looked into my eyes.
"Let's get married!" you said.
I was surprised! First day out, without any romantic dates, without anything normally people do, you proposed me. Just like that.
"I have no answer at the moment. I have to think about it, " I replied.
You agreed with it.
Then we continued the night with our own imaginations. I had no idea what was in our mind, mine was full of questions.
"What if...?"
"How?"
"Is it?"
"Maybe..."
I was still have no answer and tried to find it in the bottles we drank. A lot of bottles! I didn't remember what happened next. All I know, the next day, I woke up naked in a fancy hotel room. You were sitting and smoking on the couch in front of me.
I felt so numb. Not because of those alcohol that still running inside my blood, but I knew something bad, terribly bad, happened to me. You raped me!
"I am not like any other man, I am a truly gentleman. I will responsible for everything I did. I will marry you, don't worry!".
"Bastard!", I shouted.
I could no longer hold my emotions. I cried.
Days to days after that night, I spent most of my time in my room. I did not go to my office, turned off my phones, locked my rooms, and turnes off all the lights. No music, no sounds, no nothing. Just me and my regrets.
I knew you kept on coming, knocked the door, and called my name. I hated you and I did not want to see you ever again.
"Please open the door. I promise you, I will not do anything to hurt you. I will marry you".
It happened for a few days only. You didn't come again. You tried to call me, but I changed my phone number. You tried to come to my office, I already moved. I need a break. You didn't know how hard it is to keep my virginity, how I want to give it only to the one I love so much. You never understand dignity, you have none.
Four months later, I found out I got pregnant. It was another end of my life. I dare myself to call you, I was affraid my parents will found out. I might be dead, but I refused to be in hell. I was pretty sure that my parents will not choose me, their fame and famous were too important. They could never accept negative judgements from others, especially because of me. Having baby without husband and "proper" marital ceremony are the worst tragedy among their society. Perhaps, they rather kill themself instead of facing the people. You knew about it.
On the other hand, I did not want to kill my own baby, either. I had no choice, I called you.
"I will marry you, don't worrý", you said it again.
We were married then. A big wedding ceremony like your parents and my parents always wanted. I tried very hard to be happy.
Our son was born. I was happy, at least I have someone who will be with me, comforting me and keep me smiling. I did not care about you, I care about him.
"You are my husband, yes, but hey, do not even think to touch me! You can have all the money I have, but once you touch me and this baby, trust me, you willl lost everything you have!" I said to you once, twice, perhaps too much.
I went out for shopping with our 11 months baby when I saw you with a fat woman. Not fat, pregnant. I did not got jealous, I was happy. I thought, that was the day of enlightment for me.
I said hello to you and that woman. Both of you seemed very pale in sudden. I was nice, I asked you both to have some coffee together. You refused, I insisted. That woman were too affraid to give her opinion. I let you both go away from my eyes.
The day after, Saturday night, in the middle of rainy season, we finally talked. Actualy it was me who talked. You were just quiet and hopeless.
The next morning we agreed to get divorce. You could take my money, but you can't have our baby. It should not be a problem for you. You never love me, you don't want our baby. All you want is my money, and that was the reasons why you wanted to marry me at the first place. Just take it and good bye.
Now, I am sitting in here. Watching for the sun behind the trees. Water in the river in front of me is reflecting its beauty. Darkness is around me, but I do believe there is always a light who try to help me and show me the way.
You are no longer in my life and I am happy. I am ready to walk toward the sun, I am in paradise now, writing my new life in heaven without you.
-The end-
Hope you all enjoy it! Wish me luck! ;D
Thanks to 
https://steemit.com/contest/@gmuxx/art-prompt-writing-contest-4
Bandung, October 5th 2017
Mariska Lubis