I change my life, for that in which happiness is a reality and not just a dream. I am not looking for a life in which I am perfect, but one in which not being is not a cause for sadness. The life I love would never worry about how I look, but how I feel. In the life I want, I am always and that is reason for pride, not shame. In the life I want, they are not all always waiting for the best of me, but they support me when I fail. I want a life, where I can say no to what I do not want and say yes to what I owe. Is there someone who can help me get that life? Someone to take me out of this daily struggle against myself? Someone to help me stop pretending I'm fine, when in reality I'm a lot of pounds to be. Did not anyone realize that I'm dying, or do they just want to keep looking? Will they feel as guilty as I am about what is happening to me, or will they think I'm just looking for attention? I'm looking for a life.