I smoked seven joints. Bollocks - no I didn't, I can't smoke seven joints...
There was some truth to the story "I went to a concert with seven joints in my pocket and smoked the lot"
(See my tenfactsonelie contest post - https://steemit.com/contest/@sift666/me-me-me)
I did buy a bag of weed, roll it up into seven joints, put them into my jacket pocket and go to a Neil Young concert.
I went by myself because my unemployed student mates couldn't afford concert tickets. I had a job as a courier and could afford things like concert tickets and bags of weed.
First thing I did at the concert was smoke a joint and get fully toasted. Then I had the idea that if I got baked enough I could have a spiritual awakening to "Like A Hurricane" So I smoked another joint.
By this point I was wasted off my nut and started to see the music as sort of coloured beams of light.
And then I had an epiphany. If I smoked a third joint I would merge with the music. I started smoking it, but then Neil Young started playing "Like A Hurricane" and I was too off my nut to inhale any more smoke at that stage so I passed the joint to some strangers and just crossed over into a parallel universe. It was amazing.
At the end of the concert I came out of the stadium and it dawned on me that I needed to come back to my own dimension, but I was stuck in the wrong universe. If I could get to the other side of town before everyone else, there might be a portal back. So I started running across town - cars in this dimension were moving at hyperspeed and every person was speaking their thoughts out loud and saying things like "he's not one of us" but somehow I made it .
Then I realised that the gateway back required chips (French fries) so I want into McDonalds, put $10 on the counter and said "chips" The girl behind the counter just stared at me, and it slowly dawned on me that I only thought I'd said "chips". Really I couldn't speak because I was in the wrong dimension.
Mustering everything I had, somehow I said "$10 of french fries" out loud and she handed over a tray with chips on it. I went into a corner and ate them - which wasn't hard because I had the worse munchies in the history of the universe.
After that I remembered how to get home and the next day I could sort of speak again. A week later I found the other four joints in my pocket.
Steemians seem to think there is nothing impossible about smoking seven joints. Either Steemit is full of the biggest stoners in the internet, or nobody else has ever tried to smoke three joints. Seven joints my arse!
