Traditional thinking says the path to being “successful” involves something like the following:
- Graduate from high school
- Graduate from college with a 4 year degree
- Land a corporate job in your field of study and continue climbing the corporate ladder
- Get married and start a family / buy a house
- Retire around age 63 and live happily ever after
Does this model still stand true in today’s world? Before you answer, ask yourself the following question: How would you define a successful life for yourself? Does it involve making very good money? Does it involve recognition from your peers or high educational achievement? Does it mean getting married and having a large family?
Obviously before you can decide what course of action you need to be successful in your own life, you need to sit down and clearly define what it is you want out of life. You shouldn’t just subscribe to the “traditional” definition of #success as it is laid out by society today. One true measure of your success is whether or not you can look at yourself and be happy with what you are currently doing, and that you feel as though you are taking steps in a direction that leads you to whatever your dream life is.
For the first half of my life, I chased the dreams and visions of others based on following the cookie cutter path to a “successful” life. I graduated high school, started college (even though I didn’t know what career path I wanted to go after), got an Associates degree and decided to go into the workforce and start earning.
I had a few random jobs and then took a mid level job in a corporate office. I spent ten years of my life there, feeling somewhat miserable and bored much of the time. But I felt like this is what we are “supposed to do”. I was able to pay the bills and had medical benefits, but not much else to show for it. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel fulfilled. I would work an 8 or 9 hour day, come home to plop on the couch, drink a fat glass of wine while watching news or sports, pass out and repeat the next day.
Was this it? Is this all there is? Am I supposed to do this for the next 35 years and then retire and start living the good live then?? Well, before I had a chance to find out, I was laid off with 40 of my co-workers so that the company could replace us with a younger, lower paid fresh batch of recruits.
That was 9 months ago. During those last 9 months I’ve been able to reflect on those ten years I spent in the corporate workforce. Do I have anything to show for that block of time? Am I happy that I spent those years there? Would I follow the same course if I had it to do all over again? The answer to all of these questions is an emphatic Hell NO!!
We have all heard the saying that life is short, but it’s really driven home when you realize you spent 10 years doing something you didn’t like and had no passion for. I now see this layoff as a blessing in many ways. As much as I regret wasting 10 years of my life feeling like I was little more than a drone, I can only imagine what my level of regret would feel like had I wasted another 25 years doing the same thing day after day.
Human beings weren’t meant to spend 40 hours a week doing something they have no interest in doing. My new definition of a successful life requires that I am not doing anything that makes me miserable just to pay my bills. If I’m miserable, even if I am making good money, I don’t feel like a success. We all have bills to pay and obligations to meet, but there are many more ways than one to live your life. If you are currently in a job you hate, or that is literally boring you to death, you absolutely owe it to yourself to start investigating other options. Stop and look ten years into the future. What are you doing ten years from now? From the future, look back on yourself today. Will you be happy with where you are today looking back? If not, it’s time to start taking immediate action.
Am I saying to quit your job today? No. But you need to start with small steps. What are your options? First, clearly define your current minimum earning requirements. What types of jobs or careers would you enjoy doing? What is your absolute dream job? What would you need to do to get your foot in the door at those jobs?
Start by taking action today. Start a list of steps you will begin taking to start moving yourself in a direction that will get you to where you will be happy. Write down what it is specifically that will make you happy, fulfilled and feel successful. Does it involve moving to a new part of the country with a lower cost of living? Living in an area where the cost of living is high puts added stress on you and limits your options so consider this if it is at all an option. The same home can cost more than three times as much in one part of the country as it does in another. And some of those other areas that are lower cost are still very nice and have competitive pay.
Your action items list will define all possible steps you can start taking (however small or big) that begin to take you out of your current unhappy situation and that take you towards leading a life where you are happy and feel fulfilled. Above all, the most important thing to remember is that if you are unhappy, it’s time to do something about it. The last thing you want is to look back on your life in old age wishing you had “done more” or taken chances to pursue something that you are passionate about and that made your life fulfilling. Days at an unfulfilling job turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and into years. Before long you’ve been #stuck in a job that makes you miserable for several years.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I stayed in a corporate job for ten years even though I was unhappy and unfulfilled; and am only “free” from that life now because the company laid me off so it could hire someone to do my job for less. Although I’m now making less money than I was in my corporate job, I also have none of the daily stress and misery I experienced while at that job. So start by defining what success means to you. What would make you happy in your life today? What small steps can you take today or even just research today to start leading you in a better direction? It’s up to you. If you do nothing to change your situation, your situation will not change by itself.
What they say is true - life’s definitely too short. Don’t waste it doing something you aren’t happy doing.