Yesterday while sat in a coffee shop (admiring the decor), I received a phone call from a rather desperate company CEO; she was recently informed by the CFO, that the CSO and CCO had both, over spent on the HRO. So, the CEO asked the CFO to tell the CSO and CCO that HRO was not a financial money pot, to do so as they see fit, in doing so, the CFO invited the CSO, the CCO and the HRO for a quiet meeting to discuss the problem. The CFO asked the CAO for local costing reports of both the CSO and the COO via HRO. The CFO emailed the ACO asking them to contact the BCO. The HRO being put on the spot decided to do what HR does best “juggle people”, and approved the shuffle and renaming of positing to optimize “man-power”? This was done to cover the company over spend (COS) caused by the CSO and CCO; HRO sent the proposal to the CEO who telephoned me…
She said, “Brian, you’re the smartest person I know, you’re a mathematician, a statistician, a doctor of both mathematics and physics’, a stunning people person to boot; how the hell am I going to resolve this up-coming calamity within the hierarchy of my company”?
I pondered and pontificated for a while, (adding one sugar to my coffee), and posed a mathematical solution. I told “her”, “Sally, this is a bean counters wet dream and a HR orgasm rolled into one; Both want to self-promote their concepts and ideas on the fiscal and human ability of themselves as viewed within the pecking order of your company. You’ve worked with plus and minus before, along with division and multiplication; all you need to do is apply to the position’s and the answer will soon appear; And this is how it goes:
CEO is Prime, CFO is <= to CEO, but => the CSO and or CCO, though HRO is always = (to) the function of the CEO; If both CSO and CCO are <> and or = to CFO, but never > than, then the CFO holds the controlling function in conjunction with the HRO. It’s as simple as that!
A little bemused, she asked, If the CFO is (not) = (to) but sub-ordinate to HRO via HRO functional management line, surely HRO has the controlling function that of => than that of both CSO and CCO, but what about the CAO and the ACO, oh and don’t forget the BCO!
Not wanting to my coffee to go cold, waste her valuable time (!), or mine for that matter I told that all of this could be solved is the reduction on one positional title. Sally drop the title of HRO give the bitch a pay rise and called her SYSOO, I promise it will clean the mess up before the end of the day.
What’s a SYSOO she asked… “Sort Your Shit Out Officer”; and I hung up the phone, swilled down my coffee, paid the bill and left.
Love and Kisses (A friend of humanity).