As I mentioned in my last post, I took a small road trip that included a stop at a music festival. And on the first night, there was a spot dedicated to a Romanian rock musician who died earlier this year, apparently after he got Covid. It was a very touching moment, followed by one of the band's most iconic songs, to which most of the crowd sang along.
It was heartfelt, and bittersweet, and it got me thinking - could it really be as easy? Now obviously, I'm not suggesting it's easy burying a loved one. I'm sure his family and friends and longtime fans had and are having a hard time, still. Yet death is natural. We are programmed to expect it, and ultimately, to go on after someone close to us dies.
And that's what the moment felt like, at least to me, a sort of moving on. Kind of He died, and that's sad, but we'll move over this.. Sort of like most funerals, and other such sad events.
Except after these past eighteen months, I don't think that's possible anymore. I don't think it's going to be as easy as just saying goodbye to the dead, and getting on with our lives. Because suddenly, our lives aren't what they used to be anymore.
It's not just Grandpa got sick and died. It's we've uprooted and drastically altered our entire lives, and despite all that, Grandpa died anyway. So that now, we can no longer just move on, because we've torn up the road we'd normally use to do that. Our whole world is now so fragmented that we must learn to live anew, in this world where Lady Liberty no longer looks down on us with pride, but rather looks up, her mascara smeared, waiting for us to choke her again, then throw her away.
It's gone. And to me, one of the staples of a deeper understanding of the universe is accepting the permanent consequences of your actions. And yet no, ours is a society of glorified children. So many of us talk about returning to normality, yet normality is not a toy. Touch a stove when it's hot, and you risk a burn, and most likely a permanent scar. Action has consequences, and inaction even more so.
And for us, the past year and a half has been about sitting back and staying home. Doing what we're told, in the hope that someday, our rights will be reinstated. Well, who gave you this idea that the world is fair, that they're gonna treat you right? Give away something, and it's gone for good, because though you may be a child, this is no kindergarten. There's no teacher who'll make them give you back what you've lost. But sadly, it's too late for any of that. Realizing all this will only bring you a step closer to depression, though not freedom.
We can pretend all we want that things can go back to normal. That we can say "RIP" and bury the dead, and then return to our previous way of life, and enjoy the music.. But that's all just a fantasy. It's an illusion, one with temporary allure.
All this time, the focus has been (wrongfully, I think) on returning to normal. I think it's time we talked about how we can rebuild, about how we can create something anew from this gigantic mess we created.
Sometimes, in life, you think to yourself I'd like to stop here, and do this, but I also want to keep going. So I'll just go along my merry way, and come back at a later time. Except you rarely do. Because meanwhile, life has carried you down this drastically different path, one that you never could've anticipated, at the beginning of your journey.
And so, no, I don't think we can just say goodbye to the dead, cut our losses, and go back. So then, the question remains, how the hell do we move forward? And even more frightening, toward what?
Side Note: In case you found yourself personally aggrieved by what I wrote - this is not about downplaying or dismissing your personal loss. The death of a loved one is tragic and deeply personal. As such, no one, not even myself, a stranger on the Internet, can assess how you feel, or how you move on. I don't generally believe in self-censorship, or in this plague of over-apologizing. Generally, when you find yourself constantly attacked by what others say, the problem is with your view of the world, not with what's being said. So try to keep that in mind advancing through the Internet.