It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
I have had some of the most enjoyable times during the lockdown. It maybe 3 times that I have declared; "I have never felt so content in my life."
A euphoric feeling of achieving some very full days. Days that tick off the box of, "Things accomplished".
Then I have had such low & tired days. Where a numbness sets in and a pale pallour engulfs me. Unable to think clearly, somehow, it is like a spider has entered my head. Spinning its webs within my skull. Injected its numbing poison within my veins. My skin ages before my very eyes. What kind of doom is this?
Time after Time
One day merges with the next. An endless mix of awakening & sleeping. Like a punch drunk fighter, I know what day it is. What plans did I have? Wasn't I going to make a list to get stuck into? Oh my, what a failure!
Where was I headed to? The toilet? The kitchen? Maybe it is bedtime?
What! 4am already! It was just 8pm a minute ago - should I sleep or just make breakfast?
Darn, if I sleep now, what time will I wake? Does it matter? It's going tobe cold and wet tomorrow anyhow.
Losing my Routine. Burnout.
Wow. SO much reading. Now, what do I do with all of this information.
20 tabs open. A notebook. Do I just sleep my PC so I don't lose what I am up to?
What am I up to? That's alot of topics there. How did we get to this path?
Oh, Dante - that's alot of reading. But we were going to get into the Silver price & Hyper Inflation. Oh, a new YouTUbe video from that guy we like.
Am I becomming like Gollum, from Lord of the Rings?
Am I more now like Smeagol or Gollum?
Or is this the beginnings of the Zombie apocolypse? I just don't yet realise that I am a Zombie, until the spiked-up 4WD, mows me down when I am putting the bins out, by a guy yelling at me with his Chainsaw drawn.
I do have an inkling for brains.
Zoning Out
Maybe this was the kind of lifestyle that created the mad hatter.
I needed to self isolate from my self isolation.
Crash into bed. Keep the electronics switched off. Stop having the information running into my head.
Get back to the bottom and start over. That's the ticket.
I am the snail. I am the snail. I am the snail.
Move slowly. Move slowly. Move slowly.
A snail doesn't need to rush anywhere because it is already home.
I'm not alone
The madness is not isolated.
There are many who are slowy going crazy, slowly becoming a zombie.
People I speak to, on any given day, could be on a high, or a low.
I feel their frustration when I am on a high and they're low. That feeling of just wanting to reach out and use the other person to lever them out of their sorrow. I know that feeling. I am there on different days.
It is all so funny to watch us all COP & & PASE each other.
I started learning online languages, and I see, others already were prompted.
I go for a walk, they go for a walk.
Pick a lockdown option, and someone is also doing it. Depending on age, location, type of house & family make up, and AI would probably do a similar job. IT just feels so programmed. You either have watched TIGER KING or you DIDN't.
How much of us are just a form Artificial Intelligence?
Are my thoughts my own, or just a product of influences upon my brain. Whatever, Bill Gates, is upto, he would probably need to pay Google, for the rights to me, because of some T&C's I clicked "Agree" to.
Funny, what Lockdown highlights.
It is definately a New World Order of some kind.
Be The Snail.
Nursery Rhymes
THe top picture is an illustration of an old nursery rhyme that I saw discarded on the grass.
"Hey Diddle Diddle,
The Cat & the fiddle,
The Cow jumped over the moon,
The litte dog laughed,
To see so much sport (mirth),
& the Dish ran away with the Spoon."