Tales Of Corona - Caught Out On The Hop

You may have spotted @Pennsif has been posting the "Corona Diaries", a curation of posts from people all around the world with personal stories of how Corona has effected their lives. Each country has its own rules, and its own situation.. many of us are living in a kind of lock-down, and some of us are experiencing incredible hardships. Hive account@justinpark for example is trying to get home to the USA from Suriname with his Cambodian fiancée and children and is currently stranded there. There are so many harsh tales, including one American teacher that is stuck in virtual prison in India, stuck in a dark room with no freedom or ability to go outside. If you are feeling sorry for your own predicament, its probably worth reading some horror stories of others, it may help to put things in a different perspective.

So, i have my own story, my own predicament. Its not so harsh really (yet).. especially when compared to some of the stories i have read, but to me it is really hard right now for many reasons.. because i seem to have been caught out on the hop! I was visiting Portugal to look for land for our eco village project. When I left India, where i have been living for 14 years... the Corona epidemic was just getting going.. but no one was yet on lock-down. By the 5th day of our journey in Portugal it became clear that everywhere was starting to close its borders and lock-down. .. and we were all getting a bit nervous! Then i got the message! India had totally stopped ALL incoming flights and everyone from coming back.. at least for another 21 days! Oh shit. Then i got messages saying my flights back home to India were cancelled... and then we heard the Portugal were closing their borders.

What was I to do!? Where would i go?! I am British by Birth but had no where to stay.. and especially with Corona going on I could not really imagine imposing myself on an old friend that I haven’t seen in a decade or two.. indefinitely. Money was extremely tight, i had almost cleaned myself out just to make this whole trip to Portugal happen, and had about 500 pounds left in the bank. The only person I could think of to visit was my X-wife Clara, who lives in Holland. I did want to see her, but didn't think I was going to have time as I was expecting to be out of India for just 2 weeks. I had not seen her in two years, except for a very brief one day visit some months ago.

I was not really sure about it, but i felt that this was the best if not only real option. The thing is, Clara lives in a Very small caravan space, with one tiny bedroom and a lounge area.. That’s it! We would be under each others nose's the whole time, and who knows how it was going to go?! We had QUITE a few things to talk about, and never really went into too much discussion when we broke up 2 years earlier. IT was too hard to talk then, and I also had NO idea about NVC back then.

Clara said Yes, after some thought, and i immediately bought my ticket to Holland.. I wasn’t even sure if Holland would let me in, and was hearing stories of people who got sent back. I prayed that would not happen to me, since i had no way to get back home to India, and really did not want to get stuck in the UK..

I have been here now for about a week. I stayed with Clara for two days, and then got lucky and was given another caravan to stay in next door by a very kind neighbour. That gave us some space, and relief as things were getting a bit intense.. As im sure you can imagine, there were a lot of emotions going around, and despite our VERY best efforts at maintaining good NVC in most of our dialogues, there were times when we both failed and started getting upset. It's always amazing how quickly things that were buried long ago can come back so quickly and intensely.

Yesterday, however i got some not so great news. The daughter of the neighbour who is letting me stay here has Corona Virus! She is really unwell, is a single mother, and has a child. She has no support and so she needs to come here in a few days. That means im OUT, and will move back with Clara on Thursday.

This is where it gets scary. I have NO idea how long this is going to take to blow over. Im hearing rumours like June or July now, which is three of four months time! Oh my god! I don’t have money, i lost what small income i had renting a tiny dome in India, and all my expenses have gone 10X through the roof! I’m doing EVERYTHING i can to not go into debt over this, as i think that would be a slippery road and one i might not get out of easily.

What if we have a fight and she kicks me out! It nearly happened already, twice, she got upset enough to want to "send me to England".. although we talked it though and today at least were cuddling and like a couple again. That in itself is beautiful and VERY strange! I mean, we have been divorced now for SO long, and suddenly im back here again! What the fuck happened? I have to keep pinching myself to even remember that we did indeed break up.. time is weird like that.

SO.. i am OK.. but really unsure and quite nervous as to how long this is going to take, and how everything is going to pan out. Making money is HARD right now, wherever you are, so im doing my best to spend as little as I can, and pray hard that this will all end before im old and grey. Im not holding my breath!

What I'm waiting for is for India to open its borders again,.. and even then.. I have to be honest that im VERY scared of turning up and then being slammed into an army camp in some horrible part of India.. DAMN! Ill have to take that risk when the time comes I suppose.

For now, i take each day as it comes. If i imagine having to be here like this for months, it makes me start to panic.,. BUT somehow I’m able to not think that way, and am just enjoying the moment.. At least today everything was OK, I ate well, there is wood for the burner, and I have small piece of hash left to smoke. That vice is not one IM likely to give up whilst in Holland, although you never know.. maybe that is one thing i can work on and change if i get stuck here long enough!

So wherever you are, i send my love. We're all in this together. .This world is so connected now that we can all fell the good times and the bad.. together. This is a special time, probably the most ironic kind of blessing i have ever witnessed. I think most people are not panicking like crazy, and families are not tearing each other apart .. which is very good, very good indeed. SO many families are just being forced to be together, 24/7 .. like never before.

If you are alone, then i send you a hug, because I know how sad it can be to feel lonely. I think it's even worse than being in conflict with loved ones..