A brief explanation before I begin...
For several years now I have indulged in what some may perceive to be a kind of a fucked up hobby. Under my pseudonym Patti Hicks, I have spent many, many, many hours responding to random ads on Craigslist have drawn out lengthy correspondences. During my years indulging in this past time, I have communicated with all kinds of people over the world — I have applied for roles in porn films, responded to bizarre sexual fetishes, I have tried to place a spell on my cheating husband with the help of a Guru Witch in Africa, I have requested butt implants from a company in Dubai, I’ve caught out Nigerian scammers, I’ve tried to audition for student films and a lead singer for a band. Basically, whatever I can find, I give it a shot and see where it takes me.
In this first correspondence, I was looking for a place to sublet in New York and I came across a listing which was very obviously a scam. And so - I decided to scam them back. Here is the post, followed by the emails. Enjoy!
$120 / 1br - Amazing Chic Soho Living on Spring Street (SoHo)
Date: 2009-10-12, 5:36PM EDT
Reply to: ********@ymail.com
2 Bedrooms, 2 Full Bathroom, Sleeps 6
The best apartment New York has to offer! Beautiful, stylishly-furnished and clean, luxury 2 bedroom apartment with a private bath. Located in the fashionable No Lita area, and surrounded by great restaurants, cafes, upscale boutiques, food markets and night life – this recently renovated apartment is a perfect place to stay whether you are in New York for business or pleasure. A haven for celebrities, socialites, and the hip and trendy, No Lita is smack in the middle of Little Italy, Soho, NoHo, Bowery, China Town, the Lower East Side, and within close proximity to Union Square, Chelsea, Greenwich Village, the Meatpacking District, and the Financial District. A short walk to the subway/metro (6, B, D, F, V, J, M, Z, R, W) is your gateway to the rest of the city. Amenities include: Full private bath, Hi-speed Internet connection, Plasma HDTV with Cable, DVD player, Heat/Air Conditioning, AM/FM Alarm Clock, Coffee facilities, Hair Dryer, Hard Wood Floors, Contemporary Furnishings
Accommodation and Amenities for this vacation condo rental in SoHo, New York
Leisure Activities: live theater
sight seeing
Nearby Attraction / Facility: coin laundry
synagogues
restaurants
General: restaurant dining guide
shampoo
soaps basic
air-conditioning
central heating
hair dryer
local maps
towels provided
alarm clock
accept credit card
toilet paper
Kitchen: oven
refrigerator
stove top burners
cooking utensils
freezer
dish washer
microwave
coffee maker
iron & board
Living Room: sofa bed
Bathrooms: 2 Bathroom
Bathroom 2 - Shower, Toilet
Bedrooms: 2 bedrooms, sleeps maximum of 4 people
Bedroom 2- 2 Queen
Bedroom 2 - 1 Sleep Sofa /Futon
Living room has a sofa bed that converts to a queen size bed.
Entertainment: TV
stereo system
satellite or cable
radio
DVD
CD
Internet Access: internet access
broadband access
Communication / Internet: computer macintosh
computer PC
Location Type: Mid
Theme: adventure
Outside: parking on street
Suitability: pets not allowed
wheelchair inaccessible
unsuitable for elderly or infirm
Attractions: ATM/bank
duty free shops
museums
cinemas
groceries
library
hospital
laundromat
babysitting
fitness center
botanical garden
churches
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Thursday, 15 October 2009 5:10:48 PM
To: ********@ymail.com
Hi there,
I am writing in regards to the amazing apartment on Spring Street you currently have advertised on Craigslist.
My partner and I are from Norway and we're interested in staying the apartment. We will be in New York between the 6th and the 27th of November and were just wondering whether those dates suit you at all as we would be very interested in staying there.
Just a bit about us. We both like to travel a lot and have been in New York before. We love the Soho area because of it's close proximity to coin laundries, synagogues and restaurants. We have visited the area many times and love the local shampoo restaurants and appreciate the soaps basic. We have previously enjoyed the local attractions of the hospital and the ATM bank and babysitters which is why we are interested in your place. We particularly loved the local hairdryer restaurant which blew us away (excuse the pun). My husband ordered the toilet paper and is very excited about having it again. I do hope it is still there. Soho is our favorite area and we would love to stay there again.
We are very interested in the apartment and are very good tenants. We both have jobs and would be willing to give you references and a credit report. if you also require a dental record we can provide you with that as well.
I hope your apartment is available across those dates as we are very keen on staying there. I am glad it comes with an iron and board as the previous one didn't and was very annoying.
Please let me know as soon as possible and we will be able to pay you the deposit!
Many thanks,
Patti.
From: John ********@ymail.com
Sent: Thursday, 15 October 2009 5:54:51 PM
To: Patti Hicks
Dear Patti
Thanks for your patronage.The apartment is available for the dates chosen.I am quite sure that this is arguably one of the best apartment you can get around at this reduced rate..We cannot guarantee the hold of the apartment until booked and paid for..
You are required to pay 50% of the total rental fee and a Refundable security fee of $400 to enable us hold the apartment for you,as there is rush for the apartment at this time.The apartment is $120 per night and for the 21 nights you intend to stay it is $2520.
All you have to do to hold the apartment is to pay a 50% of the total rental fee which is $1260 plus the Refundable Security Fee which is $400.Once you have made the payment we will issue you a receipt confirming your payments.We accept bank wire transfer as method of payment.Western Union and PayPal
The apartment has wireless broadband and the apartment is not shared.
We will also pick you at the airport at very low extra charges if you can send us your flight details so we can know when you will arrive at the airport.There are also door men and cleaners who would come at intervals under your request to clean and attend to your needs.This also does not attract any extra charges.
If you are still interested ,then I will send you our booking form and agreement.
Sincerely,
John
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 3:36:20 AM
To: ********@ymail.com
Hey John,
Thanks for your patronage also!
We're super excited about the amazing apartment. I'm relieved to hear that it's available otherwise for that price the only place we could afford is a hostel. Phew! I can't believe how nice the apartment looks. And I love that the theme is adventure, so cool!
$1260.00? No problem. Do you get a discount if you're super hot? Haha just kidding! We're definitely keen on your place.
I forgot to ask - does the place come with a hairdryer? That's the only thing I'm concerned about at this stage before I deposit $1260.00 to you.
Wow the airport pick up would be great! Are you sure that's OK? That makes everything so much easier! We'll definitely take you up on that because those shuttle buses tend to charge through the nose!
But yes, we're absolutely keen. So where do we go from here?
Yours in patronage,
Patti.
From: John ********@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 4:33:44 AM
To: Patti hicks
Dear Patti
The next things is simply to make the deposit.Find attached the booking form and agreement.Let me confirm outrightly that there is hairdryer and everything other thing is also provided for.The only thing you need to bring along are your clothes.The airport pick up is also great,I woudl need your flight details to pick you at the airport promptly.
Please,do keep me posted with the payment methods that suits you.Paypal or Western union
John
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 6:28:23 AM
To: ********@ymail.com
Hey John, that's great! Thank you.
I'll take a look over the form now. And I'm relieved about the hairdryer. I will probably use the Paypal option as I have used it before on an Ebay purchase I made last year on a heavy duty hairdryer which came with a straightening iron; it seemed secure and effective. I hope that works for you. I find Western Union can be dodgy from previous experiences. I'm not sure whether you have had that same problem?
I also just wanted to check that you pick up from all airports as I am not sure yet at this stage which one it will be. JFK, Newark or Charles de Gaulle.
Also I may have some people come and visit us in from Florida. I hope you don't have any problems with there being more than just the 2 of us in the apartment for some of the time. Whilst they are obese I'm sure they will be fine on the sofa.
I hope all of that is fine. Once I get the OK then I'll get my husband to contact his Swiss bank as we are from Norway and he will Paypal it too you!
We're super excited about this place. It looks truly amazing and I can't wait to be back in the big city where I can visit some of my favorite coin laundries and synagogues!
Look forward to hearing from you John.
With excitement and patronage,
Patti xxxxx
From: John ********@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 8:01:35 AM
To: Patti Hicks
Dear Patti
It is alright if extra people come stay with you.You should understand that apartment sleeps the maximum of 6 people as no more than that would be allowed.We would pick you at whatever airport,just send your flight details in time to be abreast of the dates and times and airline .I also accept paypal transfer.
This is the paypal email account for paymentkeleedris@yahoo.com
Please,do not direct any email to the paypal email account as it is strictly for payment.When you have initiated the payment to the paypal email account then send the payment confirmation page from paypal and the booking form back to my email to enable me authenticate the reservation of the apartment in your name.
I await your urgent response
John
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 8:38:52 AM
To: ********@ymail.com
Hey John,
That's good to know. It's cool, there'll only be three extra people but they take up the space of about 6. LOL. Florida!
I'll get my husband to work out the transfer things as I am a but a stupid woman when it comes to money haha. I totally blew like 80 bucks on hot chocolate the other day. Doh!
And don't worry I won't send an email to the Paypal account as the last time I did that my computer exploded.
I'll send our flight details through once it's all sorted. I'm pretty sure it'll be Charles du Gaulle though. I'm expecting a stretch limo when we arrive! Haha just jokes.
Anyway, it's all looking pretty great. We're super excited. You've been sooooo easy to deal with which has been a godsend. The last people we dealt with wanted to know stuff about us. Um - like it's any of their business!
I'll let you know once it's sorted or if I have anymore questions! Man, I am salivating at the thought of that toilet paper special at the shampoo restaurant! Not sure if you've had it, if not, you have to try it. I think it's at VO5 cafe. Really great!
Speak soon!
xx
Patti
From: John ********@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 1:56:52 PM
To: Patti Hicks
Dear Patti
I see you are full of life and very happy and excited about coming here.I am also happy to have a great guest like you in my apartment.I appreciate your urgent response on transfer and also send me the payment page for transfer to enable me authenticate your reservation
John
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 2:41:47 PM
To: ********@ymail.com
Yes I am and I promise it's not drugs haha. I don't do any drugs or drink in case you're worried about that. I stopped doing drugs after a bad trip where I rode a fluorescent green unicorn to the republic of Congo. So weird! Totally bad come down too.
My husband will be home soon and will transfer the money. He had to work back late today. I think he may be having an affair with his secretary, anyway, that's not your problem. Sorry.
What I'm saying is that when he gets home from getting a bit on the side, I will make sure he transfers it and I'll let you know once it's done. I'm so bad with computers, I just know that if I tried to do it I'd end up doing something silly like buying another hairdryer eeek.
Well as I've said I'm very excited and I'll let you know once the transfer has occurred!
Ciao,
Patti
xx
From: John ********@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 16 October 2009 5:15:20 PM
To: Patti Hicks
Dear Pati
Alright.Keep me posted
John
From: Patti hicks
Sent: Saturday, 17 October 2009 2:05:55 AM
To: ********@ymail.com
Dear John,
Alright.
Patti