love is an essential and complex topic of study for social psychologists. This research paper explain that love was faced with misapprehensions about reality, and love withdrew. It further explain the concept of love and misapprehension, Sternberg three components of the triangular theory of love, possible keys to healthy relationship and proffered conclusion.
THE CONCEPT OF LOVE AND MISAPPREHENSION
What is love? How do we define it? Some think of love as physical passion, and others think of it as long lasting affection. Some people believe in love at firstsight, and others think that it takes years to develop because love is such an important and complex topic.
However, misapprehension is to apprehend wrongly, that is, develop from misunderstanding, misconstrue or mispercieve when trying to convey messages or information. Therefore, there is more to love than feelings. Love demands, love sacrifices, there is responsibility to love. Love is solid decision backed up by actions. Love is more of what is done than that is said or felt. Love is humble by time. Time tests love and proves it true. Distance authenticate its sincerity and strength. Time and distance are good authenticator of love.
However, there is a saying that, a simple moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous, that it makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent together within a minute. Thus, beyond the beauty of the face, beyond the state of the height and beyond the fineness of appearance; forbearing , that is, perseverance and constant cares are the oils that lubricate true relationship. To this, we can conclude that love is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.
ROBERT STERNBERG'S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE
Love is made up of three components: Intimacy, passion and commitment, according to this theory. Intimacy according to sternberg theory means the "feeling of closeness, correctedness, and bondedness in loving relationships", Passion refers to "the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomenon in loving relationships and decision. While commitment refers to different things in the short and long term. In the short term, it refers to "the decision that one loves a certain other " , and in the long term, it refers to one's commitment to maintain that love.
However, sternberg Identifies eight types of love which can be described as different combinations of these three elements. They are;
Non Love: This is the relationship you have with an acquaintance, I. e friend by familiarity or cognizance and it's characterized by the complete absence of intimacy, passion and commitment.
Liking: Liking which involves intimacy only. It's characterized by a feeling of closeness and trust. This type of love lacks passion and long term commitment even though you like your friends.
Infatuation : infatuation involves passion only and it's characterized by physical attraction and sexual arousal. This type of love often occurs at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, it's usually what people call 'love at first sight '. It lacks emotional closeness and commitment.
Empty love is the next type of love. It's characterized by a strong commitment to maintaining the relationship because it lacks emotional closeness and sexual attraction.
Romantic love: This is the type of love which is characterized by the presence of both sexual passion and emotional intimacy. Romantic love lacks serious commitment because it's a type of relationship that a couple feels when their relationship is blossoming and enjoy spending time together.
Compassionate love: Another type of love is compassionate love. It's characterized by the presence of both commitment and emotional intimacy. This type of love lacks passion because it's usually long lasting relationship such as long term marriages.
Fatuous Love: this type of love is characterized by the presence of both commitment and sexual passion. It's also called fantasy love becauae it's almost like the couple wants to be in love, but has no real emotional bond.
Consummate love: According to strenberg, consummate love is the last type of love. It's the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship which people strive towards. Among the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the perfect couple.
KEY TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
According to experts and research, it was learnt that few of the points stated here can help enhance healthy and happy relationship.
Arguing, Not fighting
I have never seen a healthy couple that doesn't engage in arguing. However, they argue but they never fight because points of view can be stated without raising your voice on your spouse. Beside, an argument should not lead to quarrel between lovers but a step for more understanding.
Sex Agreement
You and your partner must be pleased with how often you have sex and there should be mutual participation. It's, therefore, not wrong to talk about the aspect of your sex life without criticism.
Trust
Trust is the mechanism that help sustain a lasting relationship and strong impression between couples. Absence of trust or distrust weaken one's heart which can lead to separation. So, build trust in order to achieve long lasting awaited dream of a true relationship.
Understanding
Understanding is another tips that help overcome challenges of relationships. It's well said when understand leads or prevail in any relationship. Therefore, you will have to understand that misunderstanding between true lovers is a means for them to understand each other more and not to separate. So, build understanding first because it help one to trust another.
Distance Agreement
In the case of distance, let your 'yes be yes and your no be no'. This simply means you should have distance agreement. This is to say between when and when as well as communicate often, if possible, communicate without number everyday to make your spouse feel as if you're together or close to each other.
Mutual Respect
There is need to have mutual respect for a healthy relationship. This simply means having admiration for each other and trust throughout your relationship. Respect is a reciprocal, be your lovers keeper in terms of needs and problems. It does not only limited to showing regards to each other but also in terms of capital.
Communication
There should be constant communication. It will makes you feel the presence of your lover. This can also enhance trust when there is no communication gap. How often you communicate determines the position of distance in a relationship.
Equality and transparency with money
Hidden of account can jeopardize your relationship. Even if one of you makes more money than the other, you must both decide where and how your money should be spend on large projects. Don't hide or lie to your partner, instead be plain and make her or him believe you when you have and when you don't have cash.
Other tips includes; common goals and values, fun making, among other.
In conclusion, individual perception towards relationship in respect to sternberg triangular theory of love are real indicative of how each individual views the progress and depth of his or her relationship. Therefore, this paper help us examined the type of love people are into and possible tips to sustain such relationship. In that, study the mind. Choose for the woman she will become and not the girl she is. Marry the man that will emerge from the guy and not the guy he is, not the guy he won't continue to be.
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Sources
https://www.psychologytoday.com -The Truth About True Love
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular-Thoery-of-love
Sternberg, R. A(1986), Triangular Theory of love. Psychological Review. America Physchological Association.