I will introduce myself, but I don't want the focus to be on who I am, I want the focus to be on my experiences and if they are at all relatable, because I really just want to know that I am not the only one, as any anxious person, right?
Multi-lingual, 27 years old, South African and an enigma of the Unprofessional, professional field of creativity. A student with the wisdom of Yoda and childishness of Hello-Kitty, trying to find the balance between being employable yet staying true to who I really am. I really want to share my experience of feeling like an alien in corporate environments that are just not ready, because I believe that I can not be the only one and just perhaps there is another alien who could benefit from my experience.
To say that I am highly empathic, is an understatement, hyperactivity and working under pressure are activities that I love part taking in. Im not sounding very employable here right? Currently in my last year of a BA in Creative Business, just came out of the obligatory internship and let me tell you, they are not ready for us! by 'they', I mean those hardcore, traditional 'we have been doing the same thing for 15 years' businesses.
Finding an internship in this immensely broad field of occupational categories was a nightmare, I had no idea of how to even sell myself, I was applying for anything in Marketing, Communications, Branding, but my hyper-state of enthusiasm seemed to just be 'not what they are looking for'. Receiving countless pets emails brought me to a place of hopelessness, but it was in that place that I realised, that just maybe, I was too unique to fit into any of these big corporate, cliche 'marketing & communications' internship positions. I knew that I was going to have try a different approach, there had to be a place for someone like me, for someone who is just NOT what you are used to, or at least, what these HR department are used to.
I thought about my professional abilities, great in communication, excellent with all people, avid and enthusiastic UX Designer, hugely Human-Centred and a considerate and eloquent writer. I realised that much of this, was just a part of who I am, and if companies do not recognise this as a strength, its just because they are not aware yet. So, I decided to approach a friends father, who owns a film production company, been running since the 80's, and has never failed tone successful due to always doing the same, trusted thing. This was my last resort. I checked out their website, called him up, he invited me for a meeting, even though he was not sure of where I could be of use in his company.
It took two-hours worth of explaining, convincing and selling my trade in order for him to say 'yes, you may come and help us. Finally. I thought that someone had finally seen the value of employing an intern like me, but boy was I wrong. Keep in mind that this internship took place in Germany, and the CEO with whom I had pitched to, was over 60, and could barely remember what he had for breakfast.
Upon starting, I still was not too sure of what role I was playing exactly, but as time went on, I settled into being an Independent Human-Centred Designer/Consultant. I started by doing an immense amount of research on the company, as any UX Consultant would, for the first months, I was walking around like a satellite, just seeking and beaming out information based on this company and the German film industry. This was exhausting, and boring, my energy started to run low, I had not team, almost no guidance and felt trapped and lost. I started to resent this company and my field of work.
After a while, I got so consumed in all of the problems that this company had, based on a digital perspective and how they would survive in the future, it was clear that they would be heading for an ice-berg, if they do not act on how they will carry on producing and working in the way that the industry around them is working. They were one of the last production companies in Germany, to be outdated and oh-so comfortable with how they work. For some reason, I took the entire company onto my shoulders and was determined to show them how they could operate.
I quickly realised that you can show them to the watering hole, but if they are not willing to drink, then there is not much more you can do. I decided to stop with stressing about the company as a whole, and started to only focus on their outdate HTML website, from 1993. So, now I only had ONE focus, change the website, sounds simple right?
No matter how many user interviews I did, not matter how many times I tested, it was still not good enough. After chopping and changing the site to suit all the users, I decided that I would just pitch it. getting all of the stakeholders in a room, was a challenge of its own, always 4 hours late, but thats okay, Im just the intern right?
The website was created by myself and closely together with an art director, it was functional and beautiful, what should be expected of successful UX Design. Pitching the website was nerve wrecking, people were passively aggressively addressing one another, wanting changes there on the spot, questioning creative principles, and giving feedbacks as if they all had Degrees in Visual Design. Horrifying, BUT I realised, that this was the first time that I had seen them all together in the boardroom, talking about the future of their company, their competitors and how they want to represent themselves. I had served them, my purpose was not to know what I should do, my purpose was to create awareness within this company that things COULD be done differently and that they should never stop trying to improve themselves.
This company did not even have a Vision and Mission statement, so getting them all together to chat about changing for the better of themselves, the industry and future generation, was THE accomplishment.
My lesson, don't try to make people understand what YOU want them to understand, allow them to question and discuss together what they don't understand. Create the space for them to give this thought, because the reality was that they had just never had the opportunity.
If you are anything like me, and have no idea of where to place yourself, thats okay, just make a space for yourself, educate people who don't understand what and why we do what we do, we are paving the way for future creatives to make a better working environment for everyone. Staying true to who I am, and being honest about the way that I work, has at least given me the opportunity to see that sometimes, its not you who does not fit in, but its that work environment that does not suit you. Even-though at some point I wanted to quit, I realised that working in a traditional environment, has blessed me with being able to see how we should not work, and in what danger we put ourselves in when we work in a blind and comfortable environment.