Surely you know by now that I am a woman of passion—a woman who loves deeply. The intense emotion
I feel produces a desire to protect those I love. When I was young, my need to protect had the negative
side effect of my needing also to control. Such a need has an undesirable impact on everyone: the one who
loves, and the one who is loved.
As I matured, I came to see that the love Saudi men say they feel for Saudi women is really about
control. Many times I have heard Saudi men claim that their love means they must protect, while they deny
their need to command, restrict, and control.
So I guard the love I feel, loving with gentleness and care, without trying to control.
I am a daughter who has intensely loved her mother from the moment of my birth. My love for her
continues to grow with each passing year and will never depart so long as my beating heart pumps blood
around my body. I wish I could say the same for my father. As a child, fear overwhelmed a yearning to
love my father just as I loved my mother. It was with tremendous sadness that I long believed that even up
until the moment a shroud is slipped over my body and I am lowered into a desert grave, I would never
feel true love for my father. I could never forgive the way he favored my brother over my sisters and me,
and this fueled the bad feeling between my brother and me that exists even today. But after reaching a
certain age, love began to grow for the imperfect man who gave me life. Now, for the first time, I can say
that I am a daughter who loves her father.
I am a sister who loves each of her nine sisters, although my love is strongest for my sister Sara. I
cannot say the same about my brother, Ali. In the past, I have felt moments of affection for Ali, but my
love diminished with each cruel act he committed against his wives, children, siblings, nieces, and
nephews. Now when I think of Ali, my heart feels only sorrow.
I am a wife who loves her husband. Like most women from Saudi Arabia, my marriage was
arranged. I was only a teenager when I was told I was to marry, but I was one of the lucky Saudi girls, for
I was allowed a supervised meeting and telephone calls with my fiancé prior to the wedding. These
meetings and calls served to reassure me that Kareem was a good man. Indeed, Kareem’s handsome face
brought happiness to me at our first meeting. My heart whispered a message of love from the first moment
we looked into each other’s eyes. I have loved him nearly every moment since that time. My love faltered
only once, on the occasion when he expressed a wish to take a second wife. My violent reaction was not
what he expected, and I succeeded in obstructing his devilish plans when I fled from him, out of our
country. Thanks be to Allah, that terrible time was but a fleeting moment, and never again has my husband
stirred the poison that a second wife would bring. I am a full partner in our marriage and I know that
Kareem and I have one of the happiest marriages in Saudi Arabia. My husband expresses daily his love
for me, and his gladness that we are a couple, feelings that are reciprocated.
Love for others is a great treasure for me. But there is no love that is as important as the love I feel
for children.
I am a grandmother who intensely loves her grandchildren. I married young, and I gave birth to my
children when I was young. So now I am a young grandmother who loves her three grandchildren as much
as it is possible to love. Without hesitation, I would sacrifice my life for Little Princess Sultana, Prince
Khalid, and Prince Faisal.
I am a mother who loves her three children with a passion I cannot name.Although I was a
rebellious child who created many problems in our family life, the moment I became a young mother my
entire focus was to shelter and protect my children. Despite this need to protect, however, I was always
determined to raise strong and independent children who would grow into confident adults—people who
would be free to express themselves and stand up for what they believed in.
I remember each child’s birth as if it happened yesterday
All thoughts of a daughter vanished when my yawning son was placed in my arms. A daughter
would come later. This male child would be taught dif erent and better ways than the generation before
him. I felt the power of my intentions creating his future. He would not be backward in his thinking, his
sisters would be given a place of honor and respect, and he would know and love his partner before he
wed. The vast possibilities of his accomplishments glowed and glittered as a new start. I told myself
that many times in history one man has created change that influenced millions. I swelled with pride
as I considered the good to mankind that would flow from the tiny body in my arms. Without doubt, the
new beginning of women in Arabia would start with my own blood........